As a 5-year-old, I listened to a chipmunk puppet say "the prayer" every Sunday, and just in case...I'd say it with him. Then, on the way to Grandma and Grandpa's house, my sister wanted to get saved, so I wanted to get saved too. On our 6th birthday our Grandpa, Evangelist Homer Britton, baptized us in little brown dresses. As a 9-year-old at a retreat, I wanted to "go forward" because I wanted my leader to know I was a good girl after being "convicted" after a sermon on "There's no such thing as 'Christian' Rock" so I did. She led me through the plan of salvation, and I prayed the prayer once again. I'd heard people in church go forward to "get assurance" so I just told people that's what I did. Several times after that I saw my leader in church and she would ask me why I hadn't gone forward to get baptized. I didn't want her to know that I had already been baptized as a 6-year-old, so I just avoided her. As a teenager, I put all of my energy into doing everything a good Christian does. Everyone believed I was strong in my faith, in fact, I think I believed it too. When I was a senior in high school, my pastor, Dr. Charles Wagner, began a series on the ordinances of the church. He talked about baptism. During this time, I had been doubting to the point that every night I would fall asleep praying, "God, if I didn't get saved last night, will you please save me tonight?" My pastor talked about how this act of obedience could resolve doubt issues. Well, I was so tired of doubting, I thought surely this would be the quick fix. So I told my youth pastor that I wanted to be baptized, because I hadn't gotten baptized after the time I'd gotten assurance of my salvation at age 9. I remember thinking as my youth pastor was dipping me in the water, "So I guess I'm really saved now?" When I left for college at TTU, I had to write my testimony for my ensemble director. I traveled with a singing group, and we had to be ready at any time for him to call on us to give our testimony. I remember telling high school kids that I no longer doubted my salvation, and wondering if I meant it as I said the words.
At the beginning of my sophomore year in college, a revival broke loose across our campus. Several pastors, including my own, Dr. Wagner, spoke some powerful messages that brought many of us to our knees in rededication to the Lord. On September 3, 1998, I had planned to go down to the altar with my sister and a friend to pray for another friend who "needed Jesus." However, as I went down to pray, I couldn't even speak. I remember looking into my sister's eyes and saying, "I don't even know if I'm saved." I stopped right there and prayed my own prayer this time asking Jesus to be Lord of my life, and I can say with confidence that I have not doubted a day since!
I no longer felt the burden of trying to prove to others as well as myself that I really was saved. I claimed the verses in Ephesians 2:8-9:
8For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9Not of works, lest any man should boast.
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~Rebecca PhillipsI can't put a date on when I actually "believed in the Lord Jesus Christ" but I can say that my freedom in Christ came on Sept. 3, 1998. 13 years later, I have experienced such abundant life in Christ, and I praise God for pursuing me patiently until my years of knowledge of Christ finally became trust in Him!
Growing up in a non-believing home, I was dropped off at church every Sunday because my mother thought it was a good thing for me. My Sunday School teacher led me to the Lord when I was 9 years old and I was baptized on Easter Sunday 1967. I always felt saved, but didn't know what to do next. At age 14 my dear sweet aunt starting bringing me bible studies and cassette tapes. I realized the Holy Spirit would help me know what to do next through God's word! The road has not been easy due to my environment and poor choices on my part, but the assurance has always been there! Thank you for the scripture Rebecca...I am so thankful for the gift of salvation from our God!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great testimony, Rebecca! God just kept chasing you!
ReplyDeleteI also was a "doubting" child. Once I began to grow in my faith my daily Bible reading and prayer those old doubts faded away. When a person really learns to hear God's voice about specific life circumstances, it goes a long way toward increasing one's faith.
ReplyDeleteJoyce Hague