Reputation Matters

 

Proverbs 18:17, “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.”

Proverbs 22:1, “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.”

Have you ever known a Biblical principle your whole life, and then one day you get a real-life lesson in it? That happened to me recently when a situation arose between two people I have known for almost 40 years.

We will call them Hazel and Myrtle for anonymity's sake. Myrtle came to me with a complaint about how Hazel had treated her. I believed it straight away, because Hazel had a reputation for being a bully, being arrogant, always thinking she was right about everything, and throwing fits to get her way. I could make a list of all the times I had seen her bully others. I was angry about this incident for days, because I deeply care for Myrtle, whom I viewed as somewhat defenseless.

I began to grapple with what my own response to this incident should be. But the Holy Spirit encouraged me to hold my tongue, to mind my business, and to wait and see what would happen next. Several Scriptures came to mind on these topics. I wrote pages and pages in my journal trying to sort out what my response should be. I wanted it to be godly and wise and not reactionary. I prayed over the situation many times. The ruminative thoughts were taking up too much space in my head, so I had to mute Hazel on social media limiting my thinking about her and the incident. The topic was hot in my mind still, so I was tempted to talk with others about it, but by the strength of the Lord alone, I didn’t (except closest family).

Then one day, 3 months after the incident, Hazel came to me with her side of the story. I knew she would eventually come, but she came much differently than I expected. I braced myself and whispered a silent prayer hoping for a godly response. I had never seen her like this. She was almost in tears, humble and contrite even. The arrogance absent. Normally she would brag about how she had gotten the best of somebody, but not this time. She said it had taken her this long to talk about it, because she had been so hurt. Myrtle had gone-off on her in a way she had never seen. It was a much bigger story than I had known. (Eventually, Myrtle apologized to Hazel for her bad behavior and  explained the circumstances leading up to the outburst.) Myrtle had not told me the whole story.

I was stunned at Hazel and Myrtle’s uncharacteristic behaviors, and I was forced to try to decide who to believe. Although Hazel had a reputation of behaving badly, I had never known her to lie. Myrtle had a reputation of being kind and patient with others and also for being truthful. Each was speaking from her own perspective and thankfully had made peace between themselves without my interference. I was thankful the Holy Spirit had reminded me of the verses above and kept me quiet, because it could have gotten even uglier had I intervened.

I was reminded of some things:

Reputation really does matter. What will people believe if someone tells them something negative about you? (I have had this happen to me.) People who have known you, especially a long time, will notice patterns of behavior. Will they trust your word, because they have never known you to lie? I couldn’t believe Myrtle would act that way, but Hazel was not known as a liar. But neither was Myrtle. That’s how I came to understand that they were both telling the truth as they saw it. Later, Myrtle admitted to me that she had apologized for her bad behavior, so it confirmed that Hazel was still being truthful.

It’s good to wait and let the whole truth come out before deciding what is true. This is especially true with social media. Some people make money out of others’ outrage. Outrage causes people to react on their pages where the money is made. So, they will slant the truth to deceive or to rage bait. Have you ever fallen for that? I have. As in Paul Harvey’s “Rest of the Story,” there is always another side to consider if we want to be critical thinkers instead of jumping at the first idea thrown to us.

It’s good to mind one’s own business and stay out of strife. (I Thessalonians 4:11, “…and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs…”) I don’t want to be known as a “pot stirrer.” Do you? I want to be a peacemaker. This is pleasing to the Lord. He wants us to get along. Sometimes it ain’t easy, and I’m glad I had lots of time to sort through my thoughts. I don’t always have that luxury, but hopefully, I have learned through these experiences. I bet you have stories of your own and can relate.

Blessings and peace,

joyce hague

A Crown of Beauty

Do you have a favorite ring or necklace that you like to wear, or perhaps a cute pair of earrings? If you see me at any given point in time, I will be wearing my engagement and wedding rings and probably also another ring on my right hand that my husband gave me when we were dating. As a teenager I had no desire to get my ears pierced, but in college, on somewhat of a whim while out with my friends, I went for it. So now, I often don a pair of earrings. On occasion, I also put on a necklace or bracelet. Many of us have an assortment of jewelry, even if it’s small. However, regardless of whether you own necklaces, rings, or bracelets, there is an accessory mentioned repeatedly in Proverbs that is vital for all of us women.

The book of Proverbs celebrates the beauty, not of jewelry and precious stones, but of wisdom. Read these verses and notice how it speaks of wisdom:

-- Wise instruction and teaching are “a graceful wreath for your head and necklaces for your neck” (1:9, NASB).

-- Wisdom and discretion are “adornment to your neck” (3:22).

-- In response to wise teaching, “bind them on your fingers” (7:3).

             In other words, a far better accessory than a gold necklace or a new pair of earrings is wisdom. Wisdom makes beautiful; it adorns its wearer with a quality that comes from the Lord Himself (Proverbs 8:22). I am sure we have all met these women... Whether or not they wear any jewelry at all, they exude wisdom. We are drawn to them and want to learn from them.

             And what about physical beauty? Proverbs speaks to that, too. Listen to this shocking verse: “As a ring of gold in a pig’s snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion” (11:22). Wow! We can put on our best outfit and adorn it with beautiful jewelry, but if we lack wisdom, we will just look like a dirty pig wearing a nose ring! This doesn’t mean that we should get rid of all of our accessories of silver, gold, and precious stones. It does mean, however, that we need to be aware that those things don’t truly make us beautiful. Maybe somewhere along the way, we have been tempted to listen to the world’s definition of beauty and need to be reminded of what God calls beautiful. As we pour into the next generation who are being bombarded with false messages of beauty, let’s be sure to teach them what beauty according to God’s word really is.

            I love Proverbs 4:9, “She [wisdom] will place on your head a garland of grace; she will present you with a crown of beauty.” Ladies, may that be the beauty we chase after.

-- Amy O’Rear

Mission-Minded

 

I’ve been delighted recently to see the little stack of missionary prayer letters on the table as I come into church. We used to have a Women’s Missionary Fellowship at Grace. The group met monthly to hear about missions, pray for specific needs, and have a little refreshment. From time to time, we also took on projects to meets needs we read or heard about. I have forgotten—if I ever knew-- why we stopped this practice, but I loved it.

Some time after the group dissolved, I realized I needed a specific time to pray for missions, so I adopted Wednesday as my missionary prayer time. I have a folder with prayer cards and letters to help me focus on individuals and the various fields represented. This is why I am especially happy to see the prayer letters.

It is a great privilege to have a part in mission work around the world through the medium of prayer. When I read Melissa Baccarella’s occasional Sunday morning emails and then pray for her neighbor or for an upcoming community outreach, I am eager to read her next email to see how things are going. Then I am able to praise God for the things He’s doing in Italy. It’s the same with the Lethers family in Togo, the Freeze family in Cambodia, the Arces in Venezuela, and on around the world. With all the things going on here in the United States, it’s easy to forget that there is a big world out there where God is at work. It’s good for us to focus away from ourselves now and then and think about the needs of others. We both get a perspective on our own blessings and develop compassion for people in other lands.

But let’s not leave the evangelism to career missionaries. I think it’s appropriate for each of us to see ourselves as missionaries to the people we interact with daily. Maybe you’re a member of a book club or a gym. Perhaps there are people you see regularly when you go running or stop in for lunch at a favorite restaurant. These are opportunities to spread the gospel through conversation and actions.

Jesus left his disciples with instructions to be his witnesses “in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth” (Acts 1:8). That was in the city where they were living, in their region, in a neighboring region, and then all around the world. As followers of Jesus and spiritual descendants of those early disciples, we have a similar calling.

I heard recently of a man who said that knowing he was dying “removed the filter” from his mouth and made him bold to witness. That challenged me to think about how I might lovingly introduce more of the gospel into my daily conversations.

When we all get to heaven some day, one thing I hope to do is talk with believers from around the world and hear their stories of how they came to know Jesus. And we can have a little of that right here on earth.

Please join me in reading the missionary letters and praying regularly for their work. And I’d love it if you want to ask me now and then who I’ve been witnessing to.  

--Sherry Poff

Let There Be Light

 

Ask me today what one of my biggest fears is… the dark. It’s a little embarrassing as an adult, but I know I’m not the only one, so I’m owning it. I remember back in middle school and high school a very specific picture of this fear, now funny to me, though I likely would still react the same way. I had two pet rabbits that lived in a hutch out on the side of our yard. Our whole yard was surrounded by woods. I often forgot to feed the rabbits during the day so it was a daily failed routine that I would end up remembering right before my bedtime. I would go outside, in the dark, surrounded by those woods, imagining every horrifying monstrous creature ready to spring out at me while I sprinted full speed, dropped the food in their dish and fled back to the house, slamming the door behind me, heart beating a thousand miles a minute.

You would think I would have learned my lesson and fed them earlier. I did not. Suffice it to say, I prefer the light. I think there’s a reason for that in our hearts. And in fact, the Lord has been reminding me of His light the past couple of months. It’s easy to stumble into the dark in our own lives - our thoughts, sin, social media, political arguments, stress, anxiety, boredom, fear; they all can pull us into dark spaces. But in God’s Word we are pointed to the Light over and over again. 

Starting at the very beginning, God said, “Let there be light.” He separated the light from the formless, empty darkness. In His goodness, at the creation of the world, the first thing He did was bring light.

Here are some of the other examples of light in the Word that God has placed in front of me recently (though there are countless others not included here!):

-        Psalm 119 “Open my eyes so that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.” Noting the picture here that eyes closed equals darkness. Opening our eyes brings light to what we have not seen, or could not know on our own - truths of God’s Word.

-        Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek and find me, when you seek me with your whole heart.” Have you ever played hide-and-seek? The best hiding places are the dark hidden spaces. When you seek, you’re bringing the hidden into the light. God is always in the finding and He is the light.

-        Luke 11:33-36 “No one after lighting a lamp puts it in a cellar or under a basket, but on a stand, so that those who enter may see the light. Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness. Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness. If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, it will be wholly bright, as when a lamp with its rays gives you light.” Jesus IS the light. When our eyes are on Him, we let only light in. When they are on anything else, we find ourselves in darkness, no matter how bright it seemed for a season. Christ alone lights the path.

-        Saul’s conversion in Acts 9 has a couple of miraculous moments of light. Both the bright light that struck him to the ground before he heard the Lord’s voice, and the darkness that fell from his eyes days later as he had been blinded. From that point on we see Saul’s life turned completely to the light of the gospel of Christ.

Along with these scriptures, a few songs have stuck out to me with their words of light:

-        “Be Thou My Vision”: “Thou my best thought by day or by night; Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.” “High King of Heaven, Thou heaven’s bright sun.”

-        “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus”: “O soul, are you weary and troubled? No light in the darkness you see? There’s light for a look at the Savior, and life more abundant and free! Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.

I am so thankful for the fullness of light in God’s Word. When I think of light I think of goodness and hope and joy! What examples come to your mind when you think through these things?

 

-Sandy Gromacki

He Prays for Me

I got to have my grandmother until I was in my early forties, but when she died I was desolate. I remember weeping, "But who is going to pray for me now?" I knew that every single day my grandmother prayed for me, my husband, and my children.  She prayed because she loved me.  As I faced life without Gram, my older sister, Lloys Jean, hugged me and promised me that she would pray for me. And she has.  What I didn't remember was that Jesus Himself would pray for me.

One of my resolves for this year is to be more faithful in prayer for those I love.  I want to be the spiritual anchor for others that my grandmother was for me.  But in the last few days I have been considering the most important Prayer Warrior of all.  I don't remember grasping this fact before:  Jesus prays for me! What a precious thought.  In John 17: 9, in the last hours of Jesus' earthly life, He said "I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me for they are thine."  He was praying for His disciples, but He was praying for me as well.  John 17:20 says, "I pray not for them alone, but for them also which shall believe through their word."  That's me!  I am one who believed what God recorded in His Word.  I believed what those early Christians said.  And Jesus prays for me.

The subject comes up again in Hebrews 7:25. "Wherefore He is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by Him, seeing He ever lives to make intercession for them." He is interceding for me.

One of the most important prayers Jesus has prayed for me is mentioned in John 14:16.  He prayed the Father to give another Comforter who would abide with me forever.  When Jesus would no longer be with believers Himself physically, He made sure someone would  speak up for me.  He knew I couldn't handle life by myself.  There are times when I am overwhelmed.  All I want to do is cry and call His name over and over.  I don't know what I should pray for.  That's when the Spirit steps in for me.  Romans 8:26, "The Spirit also helps our infirmities; for we know not what we should pray for as we ought; but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered."

I don't remember this wonderful promise being covered in a sermon or Sunday School lesson, but it's true. I want this to be a part of my consciousness.  I have an amazing Comforter, a faithful interceder.  Praise the Lord!

                                                                        Faith Himes Lamb

 

God Uses Many Instruments

 

I cannot remember any of my personal interactions with either of my grandmothers that each did not seek to use for good—my good. Each in her own unique way sought to influence me to do right and to live my life for someone else’s benefit. Dad’s mom was quiet and offered her advice for consideration: “Think about this.” On the other hand, my mother’s mother was friendly but didactic, and she offered her wisdom in a positive “I want you to do this” manner. Each of my grandmothers provided an example of stability and strength in the face of difficulty that only children of God possess. I learned at an early age, then, that “God is a refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

Dad’s mother lost her oldest son during World War II. She took her loss with great difficulty, but she learned over the years to place her grief before the Savior. She sought to share her modest means with others by way of her table, which always had room for just one more. She had a meek and quiet spirit which, along with her hospitality, taught me the virtues of “holding my tongue” instead of impetuously disagreeing with whatever suited my argumentative mode. She sought to show me personal consistency. She gave me genuine affection.

My other grandmother was extremely practical, organized, and she rarely rested. She was a fountain of activity, pulling me along with her. I can’t prepare green beans without remembering her advice:
“Choose carefully, be sure the beans are crisp enough to snap, do not use too much water or the vitamin content will be lost,” etc. (Oh, they were 19 cents a pound back then. The price of green beans was an important discussion topic for the women in our family.) The advice was to look carefully at the ways of my household (Proverbs 31:27). Grandma taught me to be attentive to the details of my family’s spiritual and physical needs, to monitor my attitude continually, and to try to see the best in someone. She always explained that God had his hand in every situation.

Paul teaches us the nature and value of relationships between the members of different generations in Titus. Every one of Paul’s injunctions speaks of the carryover which we must make among the realms of the spiritual, the intellectual, and the practical. Right doctrine will influence the manner of life of a believer. Right living will solidify spiritual understanding and spiritual empathy for others. All that we learn will we reveal in our lifestyle. A goal in our relationships is to allow us to help and to encourage each other to live in a Christlike manner. I needed the influence of each of my grandmothers.

“But speak thou the things which become (are suitable to and reflect) sound doctrine.” This imperative specifically addresses the need for older men to be sober (vigilant), grave (honest, worthy of respect), and temperate (discreet) in their living. An individual’s attitude of mind is to be one that leads to prudence and self-control in life. These attributes are the opposite of frivolity and carelessness. Noah’s walk of obedience was hindered by careless, unheeded actions in his later years. Thus, the word temperate implies a discretion that is protective to the believer. It is important, therefore, that a seriousness of purpose be found as an identifying mark in each believer’s life. Our lives provide a spiritual benefit for others: saved or unsaved, older or younger. 

Paul’s instructions to Titus continue to state that soundness, wholesomeness, or rightness should characterize our being. Each believer is to have knowledge based on the principles of the Word found in the higher spiritual virtues of faith, love, and patience. Our practical Christianity is based on Jesus Christ, our foundation.

Women are to possess these virtues also. Paul speaks about our deportment reflecting the holiness of our living. We are not to be slanderers, gossips, or false accusers. We are to be temperate and teachers of good things. Paul places an emphasis on the teaching ministry older women were to exhibit as a natural outgrowth of the relationship built in their lives with younger women. In our day, extended ministries such as MomCo, mom’s prayer groups, Sunday school, or Awana provide important opportunities to move between generations sharing Christ’s love.

It is important for younger women and older women to mingle together as they all seek to move forward for the Lord. The context of Paul’s admonitions to Titus is the home. Somehow, we wonder why it might be necessary to learn the need to love one’s husband or children or in-laws or other family members. However, learning consistency in putting the needs and concerns of your family first is “caught” by seeing the example of respected women of God.

History shows us that believing women in the first century spent time together, worked alongside one another, and encouraged others in their walks of faith. It is not a small wonder, then, that Eunice and Lois are complimented for their Godly influence on Timothy.

A woman’s character and its resulting fruit, then, is openly displayed and shared with those younger women with whom she spends time. As a young mom, I was so grateful for the advice the nursery workers gave me when I needed help with my babies. As I learned to lean on several Godly women, I learned more about having right spiritual outlooks for my living because an atmosphere of love and trust had been developed across the generations of women in our church.

As believing women, we are to be like our Savior. We are to be influences one to another “for righteousness’ sake.” We are to be encouragers. A softly spoken word, a gentle admonition, a steady helping hand, and a heart of love can be among the gifts we present to one another in the Savior’s name.

 

--Janet Hicks

 

 

Beautiful Things

 

On this cold winter day, let’s think of some beautiful things to cheer ourselves!

 Here’s my list (in no particular order):

 The sweet faces of my grandchildren

The Hiwassee River cascading over rocks

Christmas lights (the more, the better!)

Chocolate chip cookies (the smell and taste, just lovely)

Beaches, especially at sunset (and dolphins)

Snow and men made of snow

A clear, starry night

Beautifully illustrated books

A full moon rising over a river (especially if you’re on the water)

The Rocky Mountains

Relaxing music on Pandora and music by John Williams

A crackling fireplace – even if it’s just a video

Frozen waterfalls

Handmade Valentines

Sunrise from the view of an airplane

A passion flower

Wedding gowns

Pink fleece hoodies

Stained glass illuminated from behind

I’m smiling as I made this list, and honestly, I’ve been feeling a bit glum today. Make your own list and see if you respond the same way!

Now consider the words of David in Psalm 27:4,

“One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.”

There’s nothing more beautiful than the beauty of the LORD! He blazes brightly upon His throne. Consider His might and power. Our minds cannot fathom it! No one is greater than Him. He possesses all knowledge and wisdom. He created all things, so many amazing and beautiful things that work together for His glory, beautiful even in a fallen state. Goodness, Beauty, and Truth originate in Him. The joy of the LORD strengthens us in dark, difficult times. He never leaves us alone. Isn’t that wonderful?! The fruits of His Spirit are available to us and can be manifested in us. He is holy!

I could go on and on…feel free to linger on these thoughts and add to them. There’s so much that could be said about our wonderful LORD.

Be cheered and warmed!

 

joyce hague