A Grandbaby!

A Grandbaby!

Just one year ago today I took my mother, Mary Lloys Himes, to my son’s house because John and Rachel had a surprise to share with her.  The surprise was Mikaela Jocelyn Lamb. My first grandbaby had been born September 19.

            Mother sat in a rocking chair holding Mikaela and talking to her.  We videoed her, we took pictures, including the four generation picture of Mikaela, John, me, and Mom.

            I took Mom back to the assisted living and it was the very last time she left the building.  A little more than a week later, Mom left her home again, this time for a heavenly home.  But she got to see her great-granddaughter first.

            I was very close to my grandmother, Lloys Rice, but she has been gone for more than twenty years.  My children have no grandmother, as of a year ago.  But now I have a chance to be a grandmother, one like my grandmother, a major influence in my life.  I have the chance to  influence Mikaela.

            I was reading this morning from II Timothy 1 where Paul says to Timothy,

            “I constantly remember you in my prayers night and day, longing to see you, even as I recall your tears, so that I may be filled with joy.  For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.”

            What did I learn from my grandmother that I want to pass on to Mikaela?  The first thing is I knew Gram loved God supremely and she told me I needed to view every individual as someone Jesus loved.  And because Jesus loved them, I should love them.  I knew Gram loved the Bible.  She is the one who taught me how to use a Strong’s Concordance and find verses on a particular topic.  She was memorizing Scripture when she was in her nineties and taught me to value Scripture.

            I want to treat people the way Gram treated people and I want to teach Mikaela to do the same.  Gram listened to everyone with every fiber of her being.  She was riveted on my Stephen when he told her the story of “The Three Little Pigs,” just as she was riveted on me when I talked about the heartache of being rejected by the one I loved.  (She gave me a ring to replace the one I no longer had and told me he just didn’t know what he was missing!)  She was my biggest cheerleader, believing, and almost convincing me, that I could do anything.  I never felt I had to perform to earn her love or that if I failed in any way, she would reject me.  I learned unconditional love from her.

            I know that the years ahead will bring great joy, tears, and fears as I watch Mikaela grow.  Just after the verses I quoted come the words, “God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.”  I am not sure why Paul put those words together in the same paragraph, but I can apply it to myself and my relationship with Mikaela and any future grandchildren.  I will be tempted to fear the heartaches and trials  Mikaela will encounter and even the choices she may make, but I will love her unconditionally, encourage her, and try to be an example for her the way my grandmother was for me.

                                                                        ~~Faith Himes Lamb

REGRET

This time of year was once my very favorite...the colors, the cooler weather, pumpkins and all the beauty that comes with autumn.  I loved it and still do to a point.    However, it is now also the time of year that my husband’s once strong body began to give way to the wretched cancer that had engulfed every moment of our lives for the past two years.  When the beautiful season of autumn should bring excitement for the expectation of Thanksgiving and Christmas, it now leaves my heart in fear of the approaching “anniversary” and what might wash over me from that great loss we have endured.  And in the midst of this survival mode and sadness, I long for what was good.  And I regret....

 

Regret is a terrible thing to endure and it needles into spaces of your mind that are worn out from grief.  I should have, I could have and why didn’t I?  I’m not talking about the skinny girl “I ate a doughnut and now I’m puffy” regret, (that’s not a regret for us healthier girls) or the “Why didn’t I pick the black Mercedes instead of the blue one” (not a particular worry for me either).  I’m talking about the life regrets...the regrets that tell you that you could have made a difference had you chosen well.

I don’t have too many from my life with Dan. He and I lived our lives with short accounts, but the little ones plague me...I should have read Scripture to him when he could no longer hold his Bible, or stayed more in his “world” at the end instead of trying to make people feel comfortable, or just laying next to him a little longer and listening to every precious heart beat...if only. 

But regret is useless.  It is simply another way to allow Satan to turn our focus onto our pitiful selves and away from the Lord who knows how human we are and that sometimes we do all that we know to do, and despite our human-ness still chooses to give us grace to learn and move on. I know that in my head but it’s difficult to accept.

That being said, I would like to reach the end of my life with no regret....better looking, but with no regret.  And from what I can figure, we do that by living every day as if it were our last, not just living but living intentionally, living for a future we will have after we draw our last breath, living to hear the words, “well done” from the Lord.  I want to hear that.  Who wouldn’t? 

So...... just in case this is my last day, custard filled or glazed?

Joy Dilts

II Timothy 4: 7 & 8: I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith; Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day; and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.

Surrounded by Love

I stood next to Renee Haston on Sunday morning, blending my voice with hers and a few hundred others as we sang this familiar song:

                Hold me close,
                Let your love surround me.
                Bring me near;
                Draw me to your side.

As we sang, I felt myself surrounded by love. I looked around at the dear faces of people I see week after week—many of whom I rarely talk to.  Yet I know if I am in trouble, these people will help me.  If I were in a foreign land—or stuck at the side of the road—it would be a joy and comfort to see Mike McDonald or Judi Summers, Becky Gorsline or Don Sandberg come around the corner.

It is so easy to take people for granted, but in some ways, it’s a compliment. It’s not a bad thing to be considered faithful. I want people to know that I will help them if I can. It would hurt my feelings more to think that someone wouldn’t ask for help because they’d think me too indifferent. To be always available is to be like God.

We had this verse on our bulletin Sunday: “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness”  (Lamentations 3:22-23).  Because God is faithful to keep the big world turning and our puny hearts beating, we may forget what a wonder it all is. But when we have a scare—a health problem or a car problem—we know we can call on him, and he will help because he loves us.    

I want to be that dependable, you-can-count-on-me kind of person. And I am so glad to worship with a whole slew of folks who I believe are also loving and trustworthy enough to be there when it matters.

Let his Spirit lead us on---In the power of his love!

--Sherry Poff