Hands open!

Hands open!

            Almost thirty years ago my first son was born—pale blond hair, deep brown eyes . . . and a cleft lip.  Plastic surgery repaired the cleft when he was three months old, but the incision began to scar within a matter of weeks.  Then began our visits to Vanderbilt for treatment for the scarring.  That began a series of illnesses, surgeries, and accidents that marked Stephen’s childhood.

            Stephen was a child who sickened easily, running fevers for no apparent reason.  And I became what is known today as “a smother mother.”  I became fearful that Stephen would be sick.  I got up in the night to feel his forehead, to touch his chest, just to make sure he was breathing.

            As Stephen grew I became convicted of my attitude.  I knew I was not the one who could protect Stephen.  I knew Stephen was only on loan to me, that he belonged to God.  But still I fretted.

            When Stephen was just past ten months old, I was reading in the book of Psalms, chapter 127.  The chapter begins, “Lo, children are the heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is His reward.”  I stopped there to savor the words.  I had been told several years before I was even married, that because of health problems, I had only a 40% chance of ever having children.  (God has a sense of humor since He gave me five children in just over six and a half years!) 

            Just then my eye caught verses one and two:  “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.  Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman wakes but in vain.  It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows, for so He gives His beloved sleep.”

            I knew God was speaking directly to me. I knew He was saying, “Let go.  Let me take care of Stephen.”  So that night I relinquished both Stephen and Elizabeth to God.  I said, “They are yours.  I will trust You to do for them what I cannot.  It is not my job.  It is yours.”

            I thought that meant God was going to give me peace for all those little things I fretted over.  But God had something different in mind.  Less than a week later we were at Children’s Hospital with Stephen.  The doctors said he had spinal meningitis and might not make it through the night.  And God said, “Let go.  This is what I was preparing you for.  Unless I keep Stephen, you watch in vain.”

            Over the years God has said it over and over again in many situations.  He is still saying it to me today.  “Acknowledge that you have no control over people or situations.  Relinquish them to Me.  Let Me do My job!”

            To remind me, I had my son-in-law take a picture of my hands, held out open to God.  So in my house you will see that picture.  In my office you will see that picture.  On my keychain you will see that picture.

            “See, God.  My mother is in my open hands, for You to do Your job.  My children are on my open hands, for You to do Your job.  My daughter-in-law and sons-in-law are on my open hands, for You to do Your job.  I surrender control of what is not mine to control.”

            What are you clutching in your hands?  What are you trying to control when it is not your job?  Hold out your hands before you, open flat.  Visualize it.  See the person or the situation.  Say aloud, “God, he/she/it is here on my open hands.  I will not clutch or grab.  I relax my grasp.  Do whatever you see best.”

            I sometimes raise my voice when I say it.  I sometimes cry when I say it.  But I say it.  Will you?

                                                                        ~~Faith Lamb