Realistic Dreamer

         As we look ahead to the promise and hope of a new year, God is teaching me to be a realistic dreamer. I don’t mean that I am limiting what God can do by any means, because He can do far more than we can ask or imagine. I am referring to completely unrealistic expectations of my fallen self and this fallen world. I love fairy tales and cheesy romance movies that end with ‘and they lived happily ever after.’ Disney and fairy tales of the more recent decades have left many of us feeling like that is what should happen in life. Not only that, but I believe even the American Dream of the perfect house with the white picket fence and 2.5 kids has led us astray in our expectations of life.

My usual idealistic dreaming can hurt my spiritual life and my New Year’s goals as well. I tend to make too many grand goals because I get so hopeful and excited, and then I find myself very disappointed and frustrated a few weeks or months later (if it even takes that long). I may not always be the greatest go-getter in part because I have perfectionistic tendencies and have grown tired of feeling like I can never achieve the goals I set.

As usual, God has been getting my attention through various avenues, but He is greatly using this new Bible study, When God Doesn’t Fix It by Laura Story, to remind me of the reality of this life. Remembering that we will have trouble in this life helps me keep my expectations of this new year more realistic. Whereas I naturally think of the ideal things that could happen, I am striving to expect that some or many of those great things could come from difficulties and trials. I am not saying that I am yet to the point where I eagerly anticipate trials for the growth God will bring, but I want to be more aware of the reality of them so I am not taken by surprise when they happen and then be more disappointed or frustrated.

I would never for a moment say that I believe the health-wealth gospel that says if you follow God, He will make your life easy and successful and healthy, and yet, somehow, that has crept into my underlying theology. Although I do not expect a perfect life, I have been hurt or frustrated when God has allowed certain pain and difficulties in my life. As for expectations of myself spiritually, I have been frustrated at how I have to learn certain lessons over and over or that the same sins are a struggle. Again, I would never have said aloud that I expect to ‘arrive’ at perfection in this life, but I did not have completely realistic expectations of what the struggle of growing in the Lord would look like.

So, my hope for this new year is not that God would give me this picture perfect life and answer all my prayers the way I want, but my hope is that He is with me and will never forsake me through any difficulty of this life. He will grant joy, peace, comfort, and strength that defies circumstance. He will be patient and strong and compassionate as I muddle in my spiritual growth this year, and He will draw close to me in my imperfection as I draw near to Him. As I make my goals for this year, I hope and pray that He will help me dream big in what He can do, but that I will also take a realistic look and break the goals into manageable, realistic steps for my personality and struggles. I believe that in renewing our minds to the truth of the difficulties in this life and in ourselves that we can learn greater contentment in whatever circumstances come our way as Jesus guides us through this promising new year. May we all fix our eyes on Him when this year brings us both joys and pains to remember that He went through so much more for us and that He promised to always be with us!