Heart Trouble?

            As a woman, I am so tired of fighting my feelings! I am not saying that men don’t struggle with their feelings too, but I do believe we have a heavier dose of struggle with feelings especially because of our hormones that fluctuate frequently and take drastic shifts at various points in our lives. While this has been a battle for a long time, it has recently come to my attention in sharper focus the last few months. Primarily, it is my own heart that has gotten my attention, but I have certainly been burdened for some of my sisters who are overwhelmed by their feelings and emotions.

            Don’t get me wrong, emotions and feelings can be a tremendous blessing. When I look at my little boy, my heart is overwhelmed to bursting with a love and adoration that is sweet. When my husband and I spend quality time together or get some time away, I love the passion, romance, and security that our love engenders in my heart. Feelings are also helpful indicators when something is wrong. When you are hiking and run across a coiled snake, the panic that arises causes you to move quickly and safely away. And even some of these feelings that I am tired of fighting can be useful to show me where I am trusting in something or someone other than the Lord. Or, grief, anxiety, or depression can tell me when I am hurting and need to seek help from the Lord, from friends, or even a medical professional. But what is on my mind today are those emotions and feelings that tell us lies and try to convince us to believe them instead of truth. Let’s look at some examples.

Feelings can tell us:

I am not good enough.

I am too weak to do _____. (what God has called me to or given me)

I need _____ to be happy. (food, possessions, money, a certain weight, etc.)

If God really loved me, He wouldn’t allow this painful thing.

            Where do these lies come from? Two places: Satan and ourselves. God warns us in His word that Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44), and that our hearts are deceitful above all else (Jeremiah 17:9). Some lies are so subtle that we don’t recognize that we are making decisions throughout the day based on them. One of my ‘favorites’ is choosing to eat junk food or too much food because it offers comfort or pleasure. I don’t analyze every time I reach for junk food to think “Am I just enjoying a fun creation of God’s in healthy balance, or am I trying to satisfy myself apart from Him?” However, even when I am aware of these lies, it is not any easier to battle them. The flesh or Satan shouts loudly and convincingly that I need _____ to be happy, or that I am never going to be the best mother I want to be.

            So, what do we do when these lies overwhelm our emotions? If our hearts are so deceitful, how do we fight them? The simple answer is with truth! God has given us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3) in His Word and through the power of His Holy Spirit. However, we have to be disciplined to utilize these great tools, be aware of our weak spots, and utilize the body of Christ through accountability. Our greatest asset is keeping our relationship with the Lord strong through daily Bible meditation and prayer. Joshua 1:8 says, “This book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you will be careful to do all that is written in it; for then you shall make your way prosperous and then you shall have good success.”

            Being aware of your weaknesses and the times or circumstances that highlight your weaknesses can also help you combat the lies of emotions. For many of us, right after we have had a spiritual high or even just an enjoyable thing like a vacation, we quickly experience a downturn of emotion and thinking, whether it is Satan’s attack or a physical/emotional letdown. Of course, being mindful of our natural hormonal ebb and flow is helpful if you do see a pattern. Knowing you often have a sensitive day at a certain time of the month can allow you to prepare yourself. But also knowing where you tend to run to satisfy yourself apart from God: books, TV, shopping, food, other people, etc., can help you heighten your awareness when you notice you are running to those things more often. Furthermore, you can find specific verses to meditate on or memorize that combat those lies with truth.

            Finally, enlist your sisters in Christ or your family members to keep you accountable and to share your burden or struggle (Galatians 6:1-2). I know that when I keep my struggle to myself, I go through cycles of shame when I feel like I am failing that defeat me more, but I also observe that what I am struggling with feels so much more powerful when I don’t share it. Find someone you trust who knows and loves you and wants the best for you. Start an accountability partnership or group, where you all share your struggles. Pray for one another and ask about how everything is going with the struggle. Offer any advice you have found helpful. We were not meant to do this alone. And often, just discovering that other women know exactly how you feel, or have struggles too even if they are different from yours can be a relief and a joy. May the Lord grant us the strength and honesty to battle our emotions and always keep His truth foremost in our minds and hearts!

 ~Judith Graham

Into the Light

Yesterday I confronted a ten-year-old boy with his shameful, sexual sin. It was an unpleasant task. Even though I tried to be tactful and gentle, he reacted with embarrassment, defensiveness, and anger. Who wouldn’t?

He would have preferred I ignore his sin – pretend it wasn’t so. Keep it secret. Darkness hides our sin. And why would we want to hide our sin? The answer is obvious. Shame. We feel embarrassed that anyone would know our sin. Or we might love our sin and fear that someone will place boundaries on it. Then we get angry. We forget the enemy wants to destroy us and uses our sin to do so.

But the Apostle Paul tells the Ephesians, “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.” (Ephesians 5:11, ESV) In other words, shine a light on it! 

From my experience as a Social Worker, I know that men and women who have been abused rarely find healing until they share their experiences with someone they trust. Uncovering the hurt and betrayal – no longer keeping the secret – dispels the darkness propagated by someone else’s sin.

Paul also says, “The night is nearly over, and the daylight is near, so let us discard the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us walk with decency, as in the daylight: not in carousing and drunkenness; not in sexual impurity and promiscuity; not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no plans to satisfy the fleshly desires.”

(Romans 13:12-13, ESV)

The “armor of light” is our defense against darkness in that it illuminates what we might stumble over. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalm 119:105, ESV) God’s Word shows us how to walk in the light, but we won’t see it if we don’t “turn on the lamp.”

Jesus said, “I am the Light of the world.” He is the epitome of light overcoming darkness. Without His power, we overcome nothing. That’s why we put on the Lord Jesus Christ. Daily submit to His authority and ask Him to fill you with His Spirit and see if that doesn’t change your life.

James tells us to confess our sins to one another that we might be healed. (James 5:16) There’s great freedom in walking around in the light. Constantly worrying about our sins being exposed takes a great deal of energy. But the worry evaporates if we embrace the light by uncovering deeds done in darkness.

Confess it. Repent. Be free. Be healed.

Find joy.

joyce hague

P.S. I know it's not winter, but isn't the above picture cool?

A Truth Not Just for Mothers

“Martha, Martha [Mother, Mother], you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42)

“As you go through your day, you are taking your child somewhere. Make sure it is to Jesus” (Melissa                Kruger, Walking with God in the Seasons of Motherhood)

               We have made motherhood about so many things. Our culture tells us constantly what it takes to be a successful mother.  Any five-minute perusal of social media will confront us with various posts and articles of what we need to be doing as mothers, or worse, how we’re harming our children by what we are doing. Mothers are overwhelmed. I was never more aware of this until I became a mom myself. All of a sudden I was bombarded with decisions that would supposedly determine the health and well-being of my child – would I choose a natural birth or an epidural, nursing or formula, conventional medicines or oils, vaccinations or no vaccinations or an adjusted schedule of vaccinations, organic food or processed food, regular cleaning supplies or chemical-free living? And the list goes on and on.  This probably sounds silly to many of you. I don’t know how much pressure people in generations past have felt on these issues, but in today’s society these voices can be deafening.  For often it’s not just presented as another option; instead, it is presented as the right option. Choose wrongly and you will be harming your child. When I gave my daughter formula for the first time at 3 months of age, I was tired of the voices. I posted a list of things on social media that I had done, all of which I’d seen posts and articles strongly against (vaccinations, epidurals, processed foods, formula, etc.). My goal in doing this, and how I concluded that post, was to encourage moms to not worry about all those voices, but to listen to the One voice that truly mattered. The response was overwhelming. And it was from mothers… Mothers like me who were tired of all the voices telling them what they needed to be doing. Mothers who needed to be reminded of the truth that all those decisions, while not necessarily unimportant, are not what mothering is about.

               The truth that Martha needed to hear in the Scripture passage quoted above is the same truth that we need to hear today, whether mothers or not. It is the same truth that we pass on to our children. We need Christ. We need His truth. We need to know what He says about mothering. We need to sit at His feet, let Him speak peace to our hearts and put all these other issues in perspective. The command Christ gives us is to follow Him, not anyone else’s list of a successful mother. Moms, what should consume my thoughts should be how to point my child to Christ, not whether or not I choose to give up nursing my child who’s struggling through feedings. In eternity, that does not matter. Let’s refocus. Let’s drown out those other voices when necessary with His truths, His priorities. Christians, let’s speak the beautiful words of Scripture to each other more than we speak our preferences about daily living practices. Let’s make sure to celebrate Christ and His work in our children’s lives and the grace He gives us mothers more than we celebrate the fact that we made a homemade meal with no processed foods. Oh, that the social media posts would be filled with encouragements of God’s sovereignty over our kids’ lives more than our perceived ability to control their health by the choices we make for them.  Please hear me, I am not against all those issues mentioned above, but sometimes I’m afraid we’ve lost perspective. Our call above all others is to follow Christ and point others to Him.

               To the mothers who have already raised their children, we need your encouragement. We need to know how you drew close to the Lord amidst mothering preschoolers. We need to know what Scripture passages spoke to you through difficult seasons of mothering, how you learned to give your children to the Lord when fears were overwhelming. To all women in the church whether mothers or not, we need your help in pointing us and our children to Christ and His sufficiency in life.  May we together show the next generation that there is a Truth above all other ‘truths’ and a Voice above all other voices that truly is worthy of our complete trust and obedience. 

Continue in the Things You Have Learned

“I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and I am persuaded is in you also.”  (II Timothy 1:5)

Mother’s Day is almost here, bringing thoughts of my mother and grandmother.  I asked the ladies in the Sunday School class I am teaching to think of their mothers (or aunts or grandmothers or any other lady who was important in their lives).  What characteristics stood out to them?  Was there a Scripture that came to mind?  I asked them to be prepared to share on Mother’s Day.  Naturally I got a head start.  I found that two characteristics of my mother and grandmother entwined.  I could not separate them since they both taught me the same things.  The first was a love for God and the Word of God and the second was a love for people and their eternal souls.

            II Timothy 1:5 says Timothy’s mother and grandmother shared their faith, and mine did too.  By the way, I found it amusing that my grandmother was Lloys Cooke Rice and my mother was Mary Lloys Rice Himes, almost Lois.  They nearly shared Timothy’s grandmother’s name.

            The first thing they gave me was a love for God and His word.  Grandmother is the one who taught me to use a Strong’s Concordance, to tie Scriptures together to understand the meaning.  She made it an adventure.  I learned from her that Scripture is the best commentary on Scripture.  She also stressed memorization.  When she was in her 90s she was excited about memorizing the 150^th Psalm.

            Mother, too, loved the Word of God.  She memorized long passages and taught me the wisdom of not just memorizing individual verses, but whole chapters.  She used Scripture in training us, as well.  I especially remember her saying, “Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbor’s house lest he weary of thee and so hate thee.”  Obviously, we did not frequent our neighbors’ houses.  She taught me that Scripture was practical and applicable.

            The second thing they shared was a love for people and a passion for loving them to Jesus.  When I worked in a secular workplace for the first time, a factory, Gram said, “People need to know first that Jesus loves them and that you love them because Jesus loves them.”  She practiced that and loved many to Jesus.  When my grandparents moved to Murfreesboro and she didn’t have a washer or dryer, she took their clothes to a little laundromat across from the projects.  She called that little laundromat her parish.  She talked to everyone she could who came into the laundromat and visited many of those apartments.  There will be many in heaven because she loved those people.  She had a winsome smile as she asked nearly everyone she met, “Do you know Jesus?”

            Mother also loved people.  She could talk to anyone (and I envied that and tried to cultivate that ability.).  In our day we often don’t even know our neighbors’ names, but she reached out to all of her neighbors.  I can still see her going to the kitchen for a saucer for an ashtray for the neighbor she had invited for coffee.  That woman was more important than a smoke-free house.  She thought she was supposed to talk to everyone she met about Jesus.  In my senior year of high school I had been witnessing to a fellow student named Rowena.  I knew that if I invited her home, I could have a better chance of really talking to her and maybe leading her to Jesus.  But Mother got to her first.  When I “complained” that I had wanted to do that, Mother said, “I thought you brought her home so I could lead her to the Lord.”  Maybe I subconsciously did.  I knew Mother would not let her get away.

           

            II Timothy 3:14 and 15 says, “But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.”  I want to be known for my love for God and His word and want to love people to Jesus.  I have a long way to go if I am to measure up to my mother and grandmother, but I want to continue in what I have learned.

                                                                        Faith Himes Lamb