Slow Down!

When my girls were little, I did a mean thing. I bought a fresh box of warm, Krispy Kreme donuts and told them we could not eat any until we got home, which was about a half-hour away. Well, it wasn’t too mean, because I was just kidding. But what an exercise in self-control that would have been!

I imagine that most of us struggle to control ourselves in some area. My area is food. I want to eat healthy, but life gets busy. Consider this:

“The people I’ve known who have had major moral failings all had one thing in common: they were moving way too fast...Cramming our schedules depletes our willpower and leaves us physically exhausted. It’s the perfect recipe for a moral failure. Slowing down and resting replenishes our willpower reserves…Adopting practices that force you to slow your pace also help. Spending a mere five minutes in meditation or prayer boosts a person’s willpower for the remainder of the day. …No wonder Scripture repeatedly gives us commands such as ‘wait on the Lord’ or ‘be still and know that I am God. Our Creator knows that we need to slow down and rest. When it comes to self-control, the tortoise beats the hare every time,” from the book, “Your Future Self Will Thank You, Secrets to Self-Control from the Bible and Brain Science,” by Drew Dyck.

Recently, I was having a particularly stressful day at work. A co-worker brought in a box of donuts (yes, again with the donuts), and at first I said “no way.” I had packed a nutritious lunch and had resolved to do better. But I continued to rush around and try to get things done, things that really could have waited. I kept thinking about those donuts though. Soon I caved and scarfed down two of them. I felt instant regret. Maybe the outcome would have been different had I taken 5-10 minutes to sit down, be quiet, think about my choices, and ask the Lord for help. I knew that’s what I should do, but I didn’t do it.

So now, I am taking a different approach. I’m trying to develop the habit of slowing down during my day when I’m not over-the-top stressed. I am hoping this habit will carry me through the more stressful times.

Drew Dyck also says this, “The psychologist Jonathan Haidt uses a memorable metaphor to explain how to do this [to use habits to our advantage]. He likens habit to an elephant, ‘a strong, tireless animal’ and willpower to an elephant rider. An elephant can carry heavy loads great distances. The rider atop the large creature rarely exerts much effort. If the elephant is trained, the rider needs only to push and pull occasionally to send the creature in the desired directions. The elephant does most the work. In the same way, by using our willpower (our conscious effort) to train our habits, we can establish healthy routines that carry us through life.”

Do you think developing the habit of slowing down might help you reach your goals?

joyce hague

Of Butterflies and Honeysuckle

Do you love the smell of honeysuckle as much as I do? And does it just make you so nostalgic you could weep?

This is the time of year when changes are on the horizon. For those of us in education--or for those who have loved ones in education--our schedules are full of end-of-school programs and graduation events. It's a sweet and busy time of year. As we go about these busy days, the evenings are redolent with the heady aroma of honeysuckle. We may not always take time to notice it, but when May rolls around again, and that fragrance hits our nostrils, we are overcome with a mixed sense of accomplishment, anticipation, and loss.

It's always good to feel accomplishment, it can be exciting to feel anticipation, and sometimes it's appropriate to leave behind one thing to allow room for the next adventure.

The old and familiar feels so comfortable and predictable that we may be tempted to hold on. But, as we were reminded in church on Sunday morning, some changes necessarily come with stress and pain. That is how we fly! (If you missed the Sunday morning sermon, read up on butterflies.)

When Jesus healed a blind man outside Jericho, Mark tells us the man "cast away his garment, rose, and came to Jesus" (10:50). When I was in college, our campus Bible study group used to sing a song that said, "The best thing in my life I ever did do was to take off the old robe and put on the new."

Paul talked about "forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead" (Philippians 3:13), not as if those things didn't matter but knowing that they brought us here so that we can move on to the next area of service and growth.

I personally dislike change, but God is helping me learn that change can be good, even when it hurts. Change brings new people and new opportunities, and--as I said to a student recently--when you quit changing, you're dead.

This has been, and continues to be, a lovely spring. The honeysuckle and the gardenia and all the other beautiful and heartbreaking scents will continue to stir my emotions, I'm sure. But I pray I can remember to enjoy each moment and welcome the good things--even the changes--to come, looking forward to what God has in store.

--Sherry Poff

Celebrate Mom!

For many days, now, we have been exhorted to tell our moms we love them. Buy her flowers! Buy her candy! Buy a fabulous dinner! Buy bubble bath, salt scrub, and a spa day! Buy jewels – especially ones representing her children! Buy! Buy! I do understand that gifts are one way of demonstrating love. The real question, as always, is, “What does God say?”

Hear the Word of the Lord: (Ladies, let’s assume the references to “son” would include “daughter.”)

“Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you…” Deut. 5:16 NIV

“A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.” Prov. 10:1

“A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish man despises his mother.” Prov. 15:20

“If someone curses their father or mother, their lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.” Prov. 20:20

“Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Buy the truth and do not sell it—wisdom, instruction and insight as well. The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him. May your father and mother rejoice; may she who gave you birth be joyful!” Prov. 23:22-25

Want to make Mom happy? Be a wise kid. (OK, you can buy her a present, too.) Even if your mom is gone and you can’t give her anything, your wisdom and right behavior will continue to honor her name.

--Lynda Shenefield

A Better Kind of Friend

The elementary age children at our church have recently started going through the book of Mark on Sunday mornings during their children’s church hour. This morning it was my turn to teach, and the passage was the well-known story of the paralytic man being lowered through the roof of the house to be healed by Jesus. Of course, a vital part of the story (probably the most important part) is that Jesus forgives the man’s sins before he ever heals him, addressing his biggest need first. Here Christ shows His deity, since, as the scribes reason in their hearts, only God can forgive sins. To prove his authority to forgive sins and show that He really is God, Christ does then heal the paralytic. What a great event to be included in Scripture showing Christ’s deity, His desire to reconcile man to Himself, and His compassion for the hurting!

            Yet what I find myself thinking about most today is the persistence of the four friends. They knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that what their friend needed most was Jesus, and they went to great lengths to get him to Christ. The room in which Jesus was speaking was packed; there was no way in with a man on a pallet. So they went up to the roof and removed the tiles (probably clay tiles) and lowered their friend down to Jesus. They didn’t put it off until a more convenient time, they didn’t worry about what others would say, and they didn’t give up when it required more effort. Their faith that Jesus could heal this man – that Jesus was the answer to the problem – was unshakable.

            And that truth has not changed over the last 2000 years. Jesus is still the answer, and He is still the only One who can meet our deepest needs. And the best friends are still the ones who point us to Christ.

            Today’s advice, sadly even in Christian circles, often sounds like this: “You can do it! You’ve got this, girl! Believe in yourself!” Yet this is not the Christian message, and deep down we all know we don’t have what it takes. If it all depended on us, let’s be honest: We’d be sunk. And I’m not just talking about salvation; I think we all agree that is in Christ alone. I’m talking about day-to-day living: pressures at work, challenges in parenting, keeping a marriage strong, dealing with changes in life, making difficult decisions, and so on. I, for one, cannot meet the challenges of life, so please don’t tell me I can. Instead, follow the example of the four friends and point me to Christ.

            These are just some of the truths about Jesus to which we can point our believing friends: Jesus cares for you and wants you to cast your burdens on Him (I Peter 5:7). His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30). He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).  Through Him, you can face all things (Phil. 4:13). He will complete the work He has started in you (Phil. 1:6). He will always provide a way to stand against the temptation you face (I Cor. 10:13). Without Him, you can do nothing (John 15:5). He loves you and calls you friend (John 15:12-15). In Him, we are blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3).

Yes, Jesus is and always will be the answer. We can do no kinder thing for our friends than point them to Him.

--Amy O"Rear