"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward." (Psalm 127:3)
I wanted to be a mother when I was still a child myself. I began babysitting very early and expected to have a large family myself someday. But life does not go the way we expect it to. So I found myself in my mid-twenties with no husband and no children.Then came physical problems and major surgery. After the surgery my doctor told me there was only a slim chance I would ever have even one child. I grieved, but left it in God's hands. There was nothing I could do about it. Several more years went by. I married and now was the time to see what God would do. And God was gracious to me. Fourteen months after the wedding my first little girl was born. Psalm 113:9 says, "He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord." Yes, I did praise the Lord. And in the next six and a half years I had three little boys and another little girl. I had my big family, five children. Those were good years, busy ones. The year my fifth child was born I began home schooling. And life became even busier.
Those years passed and now my children are grown, four of them married, three grandchildren. Nothing prepared me for the reality of parenting adults. Still a mother, but now a different role. In these years I have discovered that my role as the parent of young adults has narrowed. Two things now take priority: I must love them and I must pray for them. Jodie Berndt reminded me that "the same God who watched over my children's lives when they were young is still looking out for them today."
I found that I could love these grownups, but I did not know how to pray effectively. Praying for adult children is hard, the issues are more serious and the consequences more profound. I don't care who you are, there is no such thing as a perfect family, untouched by challenges and sin. And perhaps I should add here, there is no perfect mother who has done it all right. I found that I wanted to tell God how He should answer my prayers, what He needed to do in their lives. I am working at releasing that desire to tell God what my children need.
Author Jean Fleming in her book, A Mother's Heart, recommended these steps as we pray. "Acknowledge God's hand on their lives, even before they were born. Admit any areas we resent in the way God put our children together. Accept God's design for each child, thanking Him for how he or she is made. Affirm God's purpose in creating our children for His glory. Ally ourselves with God in His plan for their lives." Now allow God to direct your prayers.
Jodie Berndt wrote a book that is helping me with my adult children. It is entitled Praying the Scriptures for your Adult Children: Trusting God with the Ones You Love. She wrote that we must "learn to see our kids through God's eyes--and align ourselves with His plan for their lives." The chapters in her book divide into areas our children struggle with: relationships, milestones, health, safety, and well-being, and victory over temptation. She shows how to pray God's words back to Him. Remember that Isaiah 55:8 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord." I do not automatically understand what God is doing in my children's lives. But I can trust Him.
I want to recommend this book to you. It is Praying the Scriptures for your Adult Children by Jodie Berndt, published by Zondervan Press. Perhaps your children are not yet adults. She has also written Praying the Scriptures for Your Teens and Praying the Scriptures for Your Children.
I want to share this prayer for you. It is found in Colossians 1:9-12.
We have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father.
~~Faith Himes Lamb
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