Have you ever stressed about making the right decision? I stress about this all the time, even over small things. What is the right meal to order? Which would be the right book to read next? Which is the right bit of housework that I should get done tonight? Sometimes, it seems like there can only be one right decision, but they all look like they could be good, and I begin to spiral. What ends up happening is that I don’t make a decision, wait until someone else makes the decision, or rush to choose something because I’m running out of time. This way of thinking has a lot to do with my perfectionist tendencies, but they also stem from an incorrect view of God’s will.
Last month, I wrote about good fruit beliefs and bad fruit beliefs and how it is important to weed out the beliefs that produce bad fruit. One of the bad fruit beliefs I garnered from my childhood church attendance is that living in God’s will requires always making the right decision based on the promptings of the Holy Spirit. In every decision, great or small, I must follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit. If I choose incorrectly, I am living outside of God’s will. Getting back in God’s will is then very difficult and takes a lot of work.
While it sounds super spiritual, this belief certainly results in bad fruit. In my life, that has looked like unnecessary fear and anxiety that I will make the wrong decision. I am a chronic overthinker and have difficulty relaxing or going with the flow if I think something is not quite “right.” I must constantly remind myself that making a wrong decision is not the end of the world and in many cases, there are many good decisions that could be made.
A few years ago, there was a great show on NBC called Ordinary Joe that was unfortunately cancelled after one season. The show focused on the life of Joe Kimbreau and how his life would have looked if he made one of three different decisions following graduation. There are three different timelines in which Joe is a nurse, police officer, or rockstar. At the beginning, you may think that one of the timelines was the “right” path to take because things seem to be going better, but as the story goes on, you see that each timeline has its own unique joys and challenges. There’s not a clear “right” path. It all contains the ups and downs of life.
I remember when I first started college and had not yet declared my major. I had narrowed it down to a few, but I stressed so much about which path I should take and which was the “right” one. I didn’t have a job I had wanted to do since childhood. I was overwhelmed by the possibilities and scared that one decision could ruin my life. I finally declared as an English Literature major at the beginning of my sophomore year, and I can confidently say that I love where that path has taken me. I love the job I have and the people I get to work with. But you know what? I could probably say the same thing if I had chosen a different major. I don’t believe a different choice would have been wrong. It would have just been different.
So what does living in God’s will actually mean? When God’s will is discussed in Scripture, it is more about our behavior than the decisions we make. In 1 Thessalonians, Paul writes, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification” (1 Thess. 4:3 ESV). He goes on to give examples of actions to take and abstain from in order to live and grow in sanctification. As you go about your week, I urge you (and myself!) to stress less about making the “right decision.” Focus instead on living a life of sanctification, allowing God to mold our hearts and minds to be more like Him.
--Concetta Swann
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