Life is Hard, and Then You Die

 This summer has not been an easy one for our church family. Along with the continual waiting
on the funds for rebuilding, we have experienced sudden, tragic loss. During my senior year of
college, I walked through losing a friend very unexpectedly. It was an incredibly difficult time in
my life, and I wrestled with guilt, anger, and overwhelming grief. My heart hurts for the family
and friends of Ryder who are grappling with sudden loss and trying to figure out how to move
forward with a weight of grief that hits at unexpected moments.

I keep coming back to a blog post I wrote several years ago that discusses the brokenness of life
and how God can handle our complex emotions. I share this post with you in the hope that you
will allow yourself to feel your hard emotions and begin to allow God to bring healing.

“Life is hard, and then you die.”

This is a statement commonly used by one of my English professors to encompass the topic of most
pieces of literature. And you know what? It’s true. Life is hard. We all will die.

As a Christian, I have a greater hope to look forward to. I know without a shadow of a doubt that
Christ will come again, wipe away every tear, and make everything right. Things are going to get
better, and that gives me something to cling to in the midst of difficult times. For me, "and then
you die" is the best part of the statement. Death means being reunited with God and worshipping
Him forever. This is not morbid. I don’t seek death. But I’m not afraid of it. Any fear I might
have is directed at the possibility of pain and sorrow that may lead up to it, though I know that
God has that handled too.

But having hope does not change the fact that life is hard. Knowing that it will someday get
better helps me cope, but I still feel deep heartache and pain. There’s no way to get away from it.
Because of the fall of mankind, pain will persist until Jesus comes again. Contrary to the
teaching of the prosperity gospel, Christians are not promised a life of ease for being faithful to
God. We are given the Holy Spirit as a guide and a comforter, but he is not a shield from the
troubles of the world.

Life is gut wrenchingly, agonizingly hard.

And you know what? It is ok to dwell on that fact for a little bit. It is healthy to let ourselves feel
the pain that life brings, as long as we do not let it lead us to despair. What is unhealthy is
attempting to suppress the heartache. This will only cause it to build up inside us until we just
can’t take it anymore. So accept the fact that life is hard. It is ok to feel completely and utterly
overwhelmed by everything that this world throws at us. It is ok to throw a fit and ask why. It is
ok to be broken.

God can handle it. Over and over again in the Psalms, David cries out to God in sorrow or anger.
And it is strong emotion:

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the
words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find
no rest."- Psalm 22:1-2 ESV

"May his days be few; may another take his office! May his children be fatherless and his wife a
widow! … Let there be none to extend kindness to him, nor any to pity his fatherless children!" -
Psalm 109:8-9, 12 ESV

It is ok for us to do the same, and dwell on the fact that life is hard for a time. It does not mean
that we don’t trust in God. We do not like the idea of letting sorrow envelop us. Who would? We
resist it because we do not like others to see how broken we are. We want to appear like we have
it all together, that we are self-sufficient. Yet all of us are helplessly broken people who have no
control over the circumstances that life brings, and only by admitting this do we begin to
find healing. And just because we feel pain now, does not mean we will feel it forever. Dwelling
on the difficulty of life should eventually lead us to the greatness of God and the hope that
we have in Him. Though David started many of his Psalms with doubt and anger, he always
closed by going back to God:

"All the ends of the earth shall remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the
nations shall worship before you. For kingship belongs to the Lord, and he rules over the
nations." - Psalm 22:27-28 ESV

"With my mouth I will give great thanks to the Lord; I will praise him in the midst of the
throng. For he stands at the right hand of the needy one, to save him from those who condemn
his soul to death." - Psalm 109:30-31 ESV

So when life hits you hard, it’s ok to not be ok. It is ok to cry. It is ok to not even be able to move
for a while. And this period of time could very well be a long while. It could take anywhere from
a few days to years. But eventually, at some point in the future, we must let our sorrow lead us to
a recognition of God’s immense power and unfathomable love for us. It is through our own
brokenness that we can more clearly understand our need for Jesus.

--Concetta Swann