When Dan and I were young and newly married, we experienced a lot of rejection from certain family and friends whenever we invited them to our home. Either our invites would be outright rejected, or people would cancel at the last minute. This was hard on us and on our daughters. We wondered what was wrong with us. Did we not have good social skills? Were we boring? It hurt. After a while, we stopped inviting people, and this has lasted our whole lives.
Recently, I heard about a podcast entitled, “Holy Hygge” and began listening. Hygge is the art of Danish hospitality (apparently the Danes are very good at this). My kneejerk response to suggestions of being hospitable, especially in my home, have been “no way.” It’s completely out of my comfort zone. But now that my girls are adults, and our family get-togethers have become larger, I find myself having a renewed interest in having people in my home. I want my home to be a place of blessing and encouragement to all who enter. A place where people are heard. A warm, inviting place. Our home isn’t very large, so creativity will be required if we proceed. And we are very busy with little time for such activity. But I am thinking about it, especially since I know we are commanded to practice hospitality in the Bible. Our home belongs to the LORD to use as He sees fit.
I am also reading a book entitled, “The Six Conversations: Pathways to Connecting in an Age of Isolation and Incivility.” I hope to put into practice these conversation skills that will help people feel connected and loved. I highly recommend this book as well as the above-mentioned podcast.
One thing I learned from those painful experiences of our youth: we were trying to befriend people who did not need us. They had plenty of family and friends. Some were too busy for us. It is better to ask the LORD to guide you when deciding to whom to offer yourself. Some of you may remember the neighborhood children we used to have in our home and often brought to church. In that season, they needed us, and it was a natural opportunity. We were practicing hospitality without realizing it. And some of those people became dear friends. We were likely blessed as much or more by them than they were by us. Also, when I was in college, I invited a classmate to sit with me in chapel since we were both walking that direction. That led to Friday night fun which led to a lifelong friendship. I had no idea how much this friendship meant to her until she invited me to be in her wedding. And it was a simple invite I stumbled upon. We can pray for these opportunities.
Because of the hurts we experienced, if possible, I try not to turn down invitations to weddings, baby showers, etc. I even try to attend funerals if I can. These events are important to people. When someone offers a person friendship, that is a valuable gift. May I never hurt another by rejecting it.
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