When I was a child in Pioneer Girls at the College Church in Wheaton we sang the same campfire type songs that had been sung for decades. One of these has been in my mind for several days.
“Make new friends, but keep the old.
One is silver and the other gold.”
In today’s world Facebook friends have become the standard for many. After all, if you can’t hang out with people because of the pandemic, let’s measure our friends online. The only problem with that is that most Facebook friends are not true friends; they’re casual acquaintances, friends of friends, or even just random people who asked to be a “friend”. So now is the time to recognize our true friends and to work at forming new friendships.
I will start with my family. Family members should be friends. I am very fortunate in this sphere. I count my children as my friends. I text or talk to my daughters almost every day, to my sons less often. I have two sisters, both live in Cincinnati, too far away to please me. I would love to be close enough to have tea with them, to go antique hunting, to have over for dinner, to just hang out with. One of my sisters has been fighting through cancer. I am so grateful that it appears I will have her for many more years. I also have the blessing of four living aunts, three of whom I get to see more than weekly. What a blessing to have those who have known me all my life, who share the memories with me.
I have several friends in this church who began as colleagues, but have over the last fifty years become close friends. Then there are former students who have stayed close. One regularly texts to see if I am free for a phone call. My dearest friend came from joint homeschool endeavors. We have been through many joys and heartaches together, the latest watching her husband in the process of dying, She has constantly challenged me spiritually. We are true sisters.
I have wonderful neighbors who are friends, some old and some new. I am grateful for those. They check on me, invite me over, take my trash out, carry in my groceries, and stand in the middle of the street and visit with me. I’m glad I live in a neighborhood of friends.
One of my favorite places is our church’s Ladies Bible Study. Some in the class are old friends, some I have gotten to know through the class. One of my first steps when I retired was to join the Bible study. I knew this was a place I could get to know the ladies of our church. Praying together, studying together, sharing with one another build close relationships.
So, why have I gone through this litany of friends? Because it takes work and concentration to make new friends and to keep the old. It is too easy to fail to follow up on friends and so lose them. Scripture has much to say about friendship. These Scriptures are taken from the New Living Translation. Sometimes another translation can shed new light on a passage.
Ecclesiastes 4:10, “If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” I have been in that real trouble, and I can tell you how important the support is.
Proverbs 17:17, “A friend is always loyal.” There have been times in my life when I felt betrayed by those I felt were my friends. How many more times have I felt the loyalty and support of friends, even when they didn’t understand what was going on in my life.
Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” We should be better people mutually as we challenge and encourage each other. This iron sharpening iron sometimes involves rebuke. Proverbs 27:6, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” This kind of friendship also brings counsel. Proverbs 12:26, “The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.” Proverbs 27:6, “ The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” Of course, this involves choosing the right friends, Proverbs 13:20, “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.”
The right friends are valuable, to be treasured. Proverbs 18:19 says, “An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.” I grieve over every break in a relationship, my fault or someone else’s. This should be where we learn to forgive. Proverbs 17:9, “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”
So here are our instructions:
Romans 12:19, “Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other.”
I Thessalonians 5:11, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”
Philippians 1:3, “Every time I think of you I give thanks to my God.”
John 13:35, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
So what can you do to put this into practice? Phone, email, text, visit. Reach out. Be creative. One of my friends heard me complain that the previous day I had not heard a human voice, except on the radio. She Face Timed me so that we both had company while we ate our suppers! Unexpected and delightful!
“Make new friends, but keep the old,
One is silver and the other gold.”
~~Faith Himes Lamb
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