Lamentations

 “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” (Ps. 13:1)

“Awake! Why are you sleeping, O Lord? Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever!” (Ps. 44:23)

“For you are the God in whom I take refuge; why have you rejected me? Why do I go about mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?” (Ps. 43:2)

“Return, O Lord! How long? Have pity on your servants!” (Ps. 90:13)

Do these verses make you cringe just a little? How can someone speak like that to God? Is that really OK? Wouldn’t you be shocked if you heard someone get up in church and begin to pray with this kind of language? And yet these prayers are preserved for us in Scripture. And not only are these passages preserved, they are actually songs that were sung! They are songs of lament, full of sorrow in a broken world, crying out to God to do something, to show Himself, to see and act on behalf of His children. I am currently reading a book on lament by an author who believes that this type of prayer is sorely needed in our world today. As I am reading, I am also doing a personal study of various psalms of lament as well as the book of Lamentations. I am seeing that, as author Mark Vroegop says in this book on lament entitled Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, that lament is “the honest cry of a hurting heart wrestling with the paradox of pain and the promise of God’s goodness.” Vroegop shows how the majority of the lament psalms follow four steps. I would briefly like to present these steps in hopes that, one, you will see them in Scripture as you read the psalms of lament, and, two, that they would fuel your own prayer language as you wrestle with pain.

1. Turn to God – The incredible thing is that in their deep sorrow the various authors of the lament psalms turned to God, even when they felt that He wasn’t listening. They didn’t turn away in bitterness. They didn’t get angry and let go of any belief in a good God. In the midst of their questions about Him and why He wasn’t near, they turned TO Him. I remember reading Timothy Keller’s book on suffering years ago in which he states that Christians who go through suffering either turn to God and draw closer to Him as a result, or they grow bitter and turn away from God. And I made a resolution that no matter what the difficulty, even if I didn’t understand or doubted God Himself, I would turn to Him with my questions. This is what we see the psalmist doing. To read really shocking language, turn to Lamentations 1 and 2. Here we see the author acknowledging that God has “become like an enemy,” “swallowed up without mercy all the habitations of Jacob,” and has “killed them in the day of [His] anger, slaughtering without pity.” And yet, even in that belief of God’s sovereignty over Jerusalem’s destruction by enemy nations due to her sin, he still prays to God and pours his heart out to Him.

2. Complain – I’ll be honest. I struggle with the word ‘complain’ here which in my mind is always sin. But what is meant here is the honest speaking of the struggles that one faces and one’s feelings as in the verses mentioned above. It doesn’t try to couch the prayers in nice language or pretend the hurt isn’t as bad. You will find many complaints in the psalms as David tells God how his life is being hunted, how the wicked sit and wait in ambush and seem to be prospering, how he is mocked and despised. Complaint lets us bring our hardships, frustrations, and even our honest feelings to God; He already knows them anyway. We don’t come to God angry as if He had to give an account, but we do come humbly and honestly, pouring out our hearts before Him.

3. Ask boldly – We bring our requests before God, believing that He is sovereign and almighty. What types of requests do we see in the lament psalms? Asking God to not forget the afflicted and to call the wicked to account (Psalm 10), to see and answer and preserve life (Ps. 13), to deliver from one’s enemies (Ps. 22), to not be silent and to listen to one’s prayer (Ps. 28), to not remember one’s sins (Ps. 79),  and to be taught His ways (Ps. 86). Vroegop points out, “They call upon God with such authority that it seems as if they’re commanding God to act. Their confidence in God’s character and their knowledge of His past deliverance compel them to make bold requests. The writers of lament stake their claim on what God has promised to do.”

4. Choose to trust – I love that so many psalms that start so bleakly end so beautifully. Psalm 13 which so shockingly begins with “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” ends with “But I have trusted in Your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me.” So what happened in between the beginning and ending of that psalm? David turned to God, was honest about his struggles, took his complaints before God, requested boldly for Him to act, and then chose to trust Him, reminding Himself of the truths of God’s character. The point of lament is to push us towards this point where we acknowledge who God is and leave all in His hands.

May we learn how to lament, for we too live in a broken world that needs this language. As Vroegop points out, one in three of the psalms are written in this “minor key.” Lament allows us to grieve deeply and yet trust God whole-heartedly. We lament illness and cancer and death. We lament racism and human trafficking. We lament the coronavirus and the far reach that it has had in so many areas of life. We lament our children who have wandered away from the Lord. We lament the pain and brokenness in the world, and with the psalmist cry out, “How long, Lord?” And in all our lamenting, we ask boldly for God to act and we acknowledge His goodness and our trust in Him. Have you been struggling lately? Why not follow the example we see in Scripture and pour out your heart in your own prayers of lament? May you find God’s grace meeting you there.

--Amy O'Rear