Struggling here, and I sense I’m not alone. Bear with me as I
share some private thoughts. I am still sorting things out in these unchartered
waters (journaling helps). May we encourage one another.
This will not be a debate about face masks, but I hate them. I
really hate them. I hate the fear I see in the eyes of many people wearing
them. I hate my own rebelliousness toward wearing them. I have hated people who
shame me into wearing them. Yikes! Did I say that out loud? I understand what
Paul meant when he said, “I die daily.” That old nature keeps wanting to rise
from the dead. It has been a conflict of values for me: Knowing I must set
aside my freedoms for the good of others and obey those in authority, and not
wanting to bow the knee to tyranny. (I realize some do not think it is tyranny
to be required to wear a face mask but let us not go there today.) I have asked
the Lord to help me do what is right with a good attitude, but the path has not
been easy for me, nor clear. It is a complicated issue in my mind.
Along with some other ladies you may know, I have been doing a
Bible study from the book of Titus. Titus is a short, timeless letter packed
with wisdom – and conviction. I wrote these verses in my journal:
Titus 3:1-3, “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and
authorities,
to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to
slander no one,
to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle
toward everyone.
At
one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved
by all
kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy,
being hated and
hating one another.”
I also wrote this: “Mercy, am I
guilty! I’ve been rebellious. I’ve maligned others. I’ve not shown
consideration for others…It has been hard to admit my sin and to be honest
about this… ’God, I don’t have it in me (to bow the knee).’” His mercies are
new every morning, amen?
I can relate to a line from Keith
Getty’s song, “Christ is All I Have,” that says “Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone and live so all
might see the strength to follow Your commands could never come from me.” In my struggle to obey externally as well as internally, the Holy
Spirit reminded me of God’s promise to make a way of escape when we are tempted
to sin. For now, my daily prayer is, “and lead us not into temptation but
deliver us from evil.”
Based on what He has been teaching
me, my plan is to submit to God and the authority He has placed over me, to
enjoy my freedoms where I am allowed, to rein in those freedoms for those who
are scared or at risk, to ask God to deliver me from the temptation to have a
rebellious spirit, to remember from what He has already delivered me in an
effort to be patient with others, and to trust Him to handle any tyranny however
He sees fit. All of it in the power of Christ in me.
Maybe your struggles have nothing
to do with face masks. Maybe it’s another area where you struggle to submit to
authority – something that really “sticks in your craw.” Maybe there is a rule
at work you think is ridiculous or your husband’s leadership doesn’t make sense
to you. Along with our pastor, maybe you feel speed limits are just suggestions!
J What’s your plan? Have you wrestled with God? I sure have! In the
submitting to Him and those He has placed over us and trusting Him with the
outcome, we find peace at last.
joyce hague
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