Sundown

When I was a little girl, I had trouble going to sleep at night. I laid in bed almost every night, always with a light on, and worried about my parents dying. I worried about someone breaking in our house, about something grabbing my arm or leg if it dangled over the side of the bed. I stood beside my mother’s bed many nights asking to lay down with her. My parents tried all the usual things to comfort me, but to no avail. Finally, I just had to work through it, and things eventually got better.

Soon I will be 54 years old. Nighttime is still hard for me. All the troubles of the world loom large when a person is tired, and it’s dark outside. Now I worry about war and danger to my family. What if someone breaks in our house or tries to abduct my grandchildren? What if someone I love dies? Soon as I turn out the light, I feel the anxiety rising. (It doesn’t happen every night, thankfully.) In my heart I cry out, “I’m a child of the light! I don’t like darkness!” I remind myself everything will look better in the morning light.

The LORD graciously gave me these verses that I typed in my phone and keep by my bed:

Psalm 121:3b-8, “…your Protector will not slumber. Indeed, the Protector of Israel does not slumber or sleep. The LORD protects you: the LORD is a shelter right by your side. The sun will not strike you by day, or the moon by night. The LORD will protect you from all harm; He will protect your life. The LORD will protect your coming and going both now and forevermore.” (HCSB)

I know we live in a fallen world, and bad things happen to good people. My childhood worries were realized in the deaths of my mom and dad, but God helped me. When it was time to face difficult things, God carried me through the storms. He is good. He is faithful. We may never know all the ways He has protected us from real harm. So tonight, lie down peacefully and rest. Our loving and attentive LORD will keep watch.

joyce hague