A Good Life

        Do you have six friends you could call with an emergency in the middle of the night and they would step up to the plate for you?

        According to Dr. Robert Waldinger, quoted by Ken Budd in a Saturday Evening Post article in the September/October 2024 issue, your answer to this question indicates whether you have a good life now and will predict if you will have a good and happy life as you age.  The article "What Makes a Good Life?" claims "Relationships are vital for us as humans. They are vital for good health, for happiness, for a long and fulfilling life."

        I won't go into the details here, but beginning in 1938 a study followed Harvard grads from affluent backgrounds and young men from some of the poorest and worst neighborhoods in Boston.The study followed these men and their wives and even children through questionnaires, interviews, medical records, and so on.  All of the information was to track their happiness and satisfaction with life.  The conclusion reached:  good relationships make us healthier and happier.  Our relationships--not our career achievements, not our possessions, not our bank accounts--provide satisfaction in life.  "The inner city guys were no less happy than the Harvard guys as they went through their lives," Waldinger says of the study.  In a study asking millennials what their life goals were, more than 80% 0f them wanted to be rich, while 50% wanted to be famous.  But of the 80 year olds in the Harvard study, not a one of them mentioned money.  Their greatest pride was about their relationships-they were a good dad, a good husband.  Their greatest regrets were that they had spent too much time working and not enough time with the people they loved.  

        If relationships are that important, how do we strengthen our friendships and even create new ones?   Ken Budd in this article suggests six friendship builders. 

1. Use the internet the right way, not in mindless scrolling, but in deliberately connecting with old and new friends.
2. Follow your passions.  Do something you care about.  You will find others who share your interests.
3. Reconnect with old friends through a text, an email, or a phone call.
4. Repair damaged relationships.  Remove that stress.
5. Connect with strangers.  Even a momentary connection will build satisfaction in our lives.
6. Cultivate relationships.  "How can we get together more?  How do we stay current with each other's lives?"

        I want to turn now to the greatest book of advice on friendship, the Bible.  When I looked up verses on friendship, I had far more suggested than I could use.  Many were from the book of Proverbs, 

• Proverbs 18:24,  "A man who has friends must himself be friendly."
• Proverbs 17:17, "A friend loves at all times."
• Hebrews 10:24, "Let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works."
• Proverbs 12:26, "The righteous should choose his friends carefully."
• Romans 12:15, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."
• Philippians, "Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."

        Scripture is full of advice on how to build relationships (a good place to start a study), but let me end with this one.

        Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.  For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion.  But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.  Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?  And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him.  A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart."

        Let's work to build those relationships!

                                                                            ~~Faith Himes Lamb