Christmas Barbie

 

I needed a Barbie doll in the worst way, and Christmas and birthday were the only times a child could get a new possession. My best friend Barbie had a Barbie doll, and so did my younger cousins. Personally, I didn’t wish for one, but I couldn’t even play with friends and cousins without a Barbie doll of my own, so I asked for one for Christmas. The usual anticipation and excitement ruled, and on Christmas morning, there she was. But…. It wasn’t Barbie. The box said so, right there. Her name was Babette. I think I understood that my parents, with four children to buy gifts for, could not afford Barbie. She cost $6. Babette was only $3. That extra $3 could buy 15 loaves of white bread (with $.15 left over).

 

Babette looked exactly like the real thing. So did her outfit. If I had had any sense, I would have realized I could name my doll anything I wanted, and, once the box was in the trash, no one would be the wiser. But I didn’t have that kind of sense. I had the sense of reality and honesty that forced me to accept that my doll wasn’t authentic. I was disappointed. Every time I played with my best friend Barbie or my cousins, I knew my doll was an impostor. I could never enjoy our playtimes as an equal. She wasn’t Barbie. My doll was inferior. I could have been happy, but my own thoughts defeated the purpose. I was comparing with what others had, what I thought I wanted, what should have been, with a skewed sense of value.

 

Even as I reminisce, I am in tears for what I lost – not the loss of the real thing, but the loss of delight with the gift because of misguided thoughts. The tears are not for then, but for now. The same kinds of misguided thoughts may diminish my joy in the gifts God gives today. Maybe I’m comparing with what I thought I needed or what others seem to have or some other facet of “the real thing.” God calls His gifts “good and perfect.” I wish for the sense to recognize their perfection and to choose to be delighted with what He has given. The God Who tells us, “My ways are higher than your ways,” was including our thoughts, our values and our emotions. If we can trust God, we don’t ever have to be disappointed with our gifts.

--Lynda Shenefield