I don't know why God chose to spare our lives or why He blessed us with health, but I do know that I'm so very glad He did.
I did not picture my life at 35 to be what it is today. While full of incredible experiences and precious friendships, my life is missing some significant "dreams come true." Honestly, it has not been easy to approach yet another year without a husband or children. In fact, I have cried out to God several times, "Hello! Did you forget there was a twin? If you're going to bring me a husband, would you consider doing it soon so that he will know what I looked like before all my hair turned gray? Thanks!"
But then I read Psalm 139:13-17. Familiar verses. I almost didn't pay attention to them.
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully (to cause astonishment and awe) and wonderfully (distinct, separate) made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
I am a twin, an identical twin. We have the same hair and eyes, the same gait and mannerisms. We even have the same thoughts occasionally and have been known to show up in the same outfits without prior planning. Yet, we're separate. We are distinct from one another. And it causes astonishment and awe.
God has not promised every dream of mine to become a reality. Yet His thoughts toward me are precious. He fashioned (pre-determined) my days for me before I was even conceived. The mere fact that His plans for my life included a 35th birthday are proof enough that He has a plan for me that is beyond what I could dream up on my own.
So when I wake up on April 9, 2014, I will not complain about my wrinkles or beg Him for Prince Charming, but rather I will praise Him for making me awesome and unique! I will thank Him for another day, another birthday to celebrate the life that He chose for me to live.
And then, I'll live it.