I Am Not Responsible!

I love being a mother!  I always wanted a big family. My first baby was not born until I was thirty-two so I was in a hurry!  Six years later my fifth child was born.  For the next twenty-five years my job was being a mother, homeschooling, as well as keeping house and running a family.  Life was hectic and even frantic at some times.  But I loved being a mother.

They are all grown and gone now.  As a parent of five adult children, four of them married, I have found that parenting adult children is far harder than parenting young children.  The first reason is that in general they may not want your advice.  They want to make their own decisions about values and beliefs, standards, and behavior.  They want their chance to make those decisions, especially when they disagree with what you would choose.  Occasionally they may want your input and they may make the same decisions you would make.  Perhaps more often they will choose differently.  Sometimes it is not a matter of right or wrong.  It merely is different from what we wish they had chosen.  They will make some good decisions and some bad decisions, just as we did.  

My problem is that somehow I feel responsible for their bad decisions.  (I would like to take credit for their good decisions, but somehow that doesn't work either!)  As an introspective individual I immediately start analyzing my parenting style, how I disciplined, how I encouraged my children, what I taught them and how I taught them, where I wish I had handled things differently.  (I do sometimes think I did something well.)

When I was busy taking responsibility for something that I was not really responsible for some years ago, I found something Ruth Bell Graham wrote.  She also had five children and did not always feel good about her parenting skills.  I would like to share her words since parents of adult children are not the only ones who need them.  It is entitled "My Part (the possible); God's Part (the impossible)".

My Part (the possible)

            love expressed

            to pray intelligently, logically, urgently, without ceasing in prayer

            enjoy being a mother

            provide a warm, happy home

God's Part (the impossible)

            conviction of sin

            creating a hunger and thirst for righteousness

            conversion

            bringing to a place of total commitment

            showing ourselves as we really are (without ever discouraging)

            continually filling us with His Holy Spirit for our sanctification and His service

For severaI years I have kept a card with these lines in a little holder on the windowsill above my kitchen sink.  I read them over and over again.  More recently I have turned these thoughts into a mantra, summarizing them into just one phrase, "I am not responsible for . . . ."  Sometimes I add what I know I am not responsible for, sometimes I don't need to do that.  I repeat these words over and over again.

I am so grateful that I can trust God's parenting.  I am so glad that He is responsible for the important things in my children's lives.

I AM NOT REPONSIBLE!  HALLELUJAH!

                                                            Faith Himes Lamb

Just Talk to God

 

This summer in Preschool summer choir, we are learning about prayer. Growing up, the kind of prayer I was primarily exposed to was either before meals or at church in the form of long prayers with big words. As a perfectionist, this perception of prayer led me to think that I needed to approach praying in just the right way. It wasn’t until later in my spiritual journey that I began to view prayer as more accessible, an avenue to come to God as I am and talk to Him about anything and everything in my life.

I think when one is asked to pray out loud, it is easy to fall into a certain mindset of making sure we say the right thing in the best way. But when that is the only kind of prayer a child hears, it doesn’t seem as accessible. It feels more like something for adults who know the right way to do things rather than an avenue of connection to God available to anybody.

In summer choir, we are defining prayer as simply “talking to God.” We are talking about talking to God at any time about anything—whether we are happy, sad, angry, or confused. My goal is to make sure the kids in my class know they can go to God whenever, not just before meals or at church. And that they can talk to God about anything, even if it’s not a “nice” emotion.

I am not one to kneel down and pray for extended periods of time. I applaud those who do; it is an admirable practice. My thoughts have a tendency to wander, and there will end up being twenty minutes of thinking about a variety of other things before I remember that I was praying. But that is not to say that prayer is not a part of my life. I talk to God throughout my day about anything and everything going on in my life. I have thanked Him, questioned Him, and poured out my feelings to Him while at work, in my car, and lying in bed.

This is the kind of prayer I think of when I read 1 Thess. 5:17: “Pray without ceasing.” It does not mean we need to always be on our knees. It means to have an ongoing conversation with God throughout our everydays. We can get so caught up in our lives that we forget to let God be a part of it. We can get so focused on praying “the right way” that we either over-focus or ignore doing it. My encouragement to you today is that praying to God can happen at the grocery store or driving to work, when you’re excited about how life is going and when you’re mad at God.

Just talk to God.

    --Concetta Swann

Reflections on Independence Day

 

Our family is a nerdy bunch. When we go on vacation, we always work in trips to museums, historical sites, and other educational activities. Recently, we visited the Missouri State Capitol and the Lewis & Clark memorial in Jefferson City, MO. On a previous trip to Missouri/ Kansas, Dan and I visited Harry Truman’s home and presidential library, Ulysses Grant’s home, and an amazing World War I memorial. I cannot say that I remember every detail of the many things we have seen and experienced, but cumulatively, they have laid the groundwork for the love I have for my country. It has instilled in me an awe and reverence for those who came before us, those who made a huge sacrifice for the freedoms and benefits I enjoy today.

Those who colonized and settled America faced incredible challenges – hunger, attacks, back-breaking work, weather challenges, sickness, pestilence, and government oppression. The Revolutionary War and its era are sometimes romanticized in novels and movies, but in reality, it was quite ugly. and every man who signed the Declaration of Independence paid a high price for doing so. These strong, resolute men (I love that word – resolute) did hard things – things that took courage and grit. Many who followed them paid with their lives and limbs to keep us free. Mental health challenges followed them for the rest of their lives. These trials should not be taken lightly. I live comfortably because they lived heroically.

I am so grateful and humbled to be an American, but I often feel unworthy since I know that there are many people worldwide who do not enjoy such liberty. Why did God choose to place me here? I am no more important than anyone else. Today, (I am writing this on July 4) I thank God Almighty for creating this country. You know it was a work of God, right? It was an unlikely win. So many came here seeking the freedom to worship freely (among other reasons) and no doubt they were praying the whole way. Our Founding Fathers had a respect for God and His guiding principles. Their words and Scripture are written on memorials all over this land. Their astonishing wisdom and understanding of the fallenness of man are reflected in systems of government they established. They understood tyranny. I believe their acknowledgement of God and requests for His guidance are why we have been so greatly blessed. I know they had shortcomings, as do we, but God used them anyway.

So, I encourage you to give humble thanks to God for leading men and women to found this land and for sustaining them in terrible hardships. Pray for our leaders to follow and obey God’s commandments. Thank veterans and military personnel for their hard work and sacrifices. Pray over our country’s brokenness too. Satan continues to find ways to divide and destroy our people. We have broken families, drug addiction, immorality, sex trafficking, depression, anxiety, suicide, murder, violence, unrest, porn addiction, etc. We deserve God’s judgement, but I am praying for His mercy and for revival. Let us “appeal to Heaven.” 

Independence Day

When we think about the birth

of this great nation,
Congress declared July the 4th 1776
and issued a proclamation.

With this decree, the thirteen colonies
are now free.
We will no longer live
under England's Monarchy.

Five great men
were given the task
to draw up papers
for freedom at last.

Thomas Jefferson,
we can remember.
A founding father,
Patriot and a Continental member.

Together these men
drafted the amendments.
Franklin, Livingstone, Sherman and Adams,
united they authored the Declarations of Independence.

Battles were fought,
and blood was shed.
Life was lost,
and men were dead.

"FREEDOM" came with
A heavy price.
War is not pretty,
nor is it nice.

We can thank
the Lord above.
He gave us these United States,
a country we can love.

Men fought for our freedom,
and with their lives they did pay.
That's why we celebrate
Independence Day.

(Debra L. Brown. "Independence Day." Family Friend Poems, June 26, 2019)

  “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” 

Beautiful words from the from the “Declaration of Independence”

 

joyce hague