The Quest for Quiet

I need quiet. I’m not sure if I have a sensory issue or what, but too much noise makes me crazy! I simply cannot focus without silence. That makes my quiet time with the Lord a challenge. In addition, I enjoy spending time with the Lord outside my house, because inside my house, I’m distracted by all the things I need to do. So, where to go? Believe me, I’ve tried all kinds of places! Restaurants? Nope, blaring music and clashing dishes. Coffee shops? Nope, grinding and whirring and loud music. Green spaces appear attractive, but then there are weed eaters, people talking, construction work, and traffic! Gracious! “How about my porch?” you might suggest. We live by the train tracks! Sigh. I feel like the Grinch when he said, “Oh, the noise, noise, noise, noise!”

In my quest for quiet, I have discovered a few peaceful places though. I like to say my car is my prayer closet. Usually, there’s no beautiful scenery, but I can control the noise and the temperature. I try to find a shady or secluded spot, sometimes in a small park, but other times I have to settle for the corner of a parking lot. During the week, church parking lots are usually empty. My favorite is perched high on a hill. But even there, my own intrusive, distracting thoughts follow me. That’s when I jot down on paper things to do or think about later. That helps me let go of those things for the moment. I have to discipline myself to be still too. I may have to sit 5, 10, 15 minutes or more just stilling my busy heart.

And how can I talk with God as if He’s really there without solitude? (He is really there, you know.) Jesus felt the need to be alone with His Father too. “After sending them home, He went up into the hills by Himself to pray. Night fell while He was there alone.” (Matthew 14:23) He did this often. One day a man brought his demon-possessed son to Jesus. Jesus’ disciples had tried to cast the demons out but were unable to do so. So Jesus took care of it. Later, the disciples questioned Jesus about why they were unable to help this young man. “He replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer.”’ (Mark 9:29) Prayer closets are battlegrounds.

Depending on your stage of life, finding quiet and solitude might be a real struggle. Yet, we must seek it. It may be the most important thing on our to-do list. We need the Holy Spirit’s filling and strength to live a godly life and to carry out our calling.  He meets us where we are. Some days there will be more time than others, and that’s okay. Ask God how to fit quiet time into your life. He will show you, because He wants to spend time with you. He loves you.

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”

Psalm 91:1

joyce hague

When Tempted to Despair

Devastated. Discouraged. Overwhelmed. Broken. Exhausted. This could describe many people in our congregation right now. There seems to be such heavy burdens for many in our church family right now: depression/anxiety; kids who are far from the Lord; death/grief; divorce; precarious job situations; betrayal of friends, family, or other believers; serious medical diagnoses; victims of gossip and backbiting; abuse; infertility; parents aging in painful ways; broken relationships; missionaries forced to leave the country they love and serve; and so much more.

The weight that so many of us are carrying can begin to feel like too much to bear. My heart feels it and longs for heaven when we can be in perfect unity, sin no longer plagues us, and there is no more disease, death, or crying. But God has been teaching me even more depth of who He is and His provision for us during such difficulty. I am grateful that I was challenged to memorize Psalm 27 in college because God has been surfacing the truths of this cry of David. While the whole thing is wonderful, here are some key excerpts:

“1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread?...3 Though a host encamp against me, my heart will not fear; though war arise against me, in spite of this I shall be confident. 4 One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in His temple…13 I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord.”

Most of us don’t have quite the same experience as David who had someone out to kill him, but often our painful circumstances can feel similarly overwhelming and defeating. However, David does not ask primarily for salvation. He asks to seek God in His temple and to see His beauty. I hope I am not the only one, but I tend to either want to bury my head in the sand or I want to panic and run away when life feels that scary. Yet David knows that the one thing that can bring peace and hope and joy in the midst of even the worst circumstances is the ever-steady nature of God. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. No matter what storm is swirling around us, we can look up and fix our eyes on Jesus (Heb 12:1-3)  who is a sure anchor of hope for us (Heb 6:19). I was reminded of this when I went out last night to try to see some of the meteor shower. No matter what craziness is ensuing, I can take a minute to look up and remember the greatness and the beautiful, loving character of my God, and I can find that peace that passes all understanding. I can find a reason to delight even when my heart aches. 

It is not a pat, easy answer to take away the pain or the reality of our difficult circumstances, but despite the circumstances, we find reason to hope because our sovereign God is in control, and He loves us with the most amazing love. If you feel overwhelmed by your difficulties, turn your eyes upon Jesus and gaze on His beauty until you can see how much bigger He is than the problems surrounding you. If you are having a hard time getting there by yourself, God gave us the body of Christ to encourage us when we cannot find the strength or see the truth. I have been so blessed lately by many of my sisters and brothers expressing their encouragement and helping me see the beauty of my God when the circumstances have seemed too big for me. 

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.”

Take heart, dear sisters, and fix your eyes on Him!

Judith Graham

A Prayer for Resting on God

           Do you feel weighed down with the weight of this world? Do you need to remember that God is in control and that He alone satisfies? May this prayer, written centuries ago, be a blessing to you as you recognize in it the truths of Scripture and hear the heartfelt prayer of a fellow believer calling out to the Lord.

O God most high, most glorious,
The thought of thine infinite serenity cheers me,
For I am toiling and moiling, troubled and distressed, 
            but thou art forever at perfect peace.
Thy designs cause thee no fear or care of unfulfillment, 
            They stand fast as the eternal hills.
Thy power knows no bond,   
            Thy goodness no stint.
Thou bringest order out of confusion, 
             And my defeats are thy victories:
The Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
I come to thee as a sinner with cares and sorrows, 
             To leave every concern entirely to thee, every sin calling for Christ’s precious blood.
Revive deep spirituality in my heart;
Let me live near to the great shepherd, 
             Hear his voice, know its tones, follow its calls.
Keep me from deception by causing me to abide in the truth,   
             From harm by helping me to walk in the power of the Spirit.
Give me intenser faith in the eternal verities, burning into me by experience the things I know.
Let me never be ashamed of the truth of the gospel, 
             That I may bear its reproach, 
             Vindicate it, 
             See Jesus as its essence, 
             Know in it the power of the Spirit.
Lord, help me, for I am often lukewarm and chill; 
              Unbelief mars my confidence, 
              Sin makes me forget thee.
Let the weeds that grow in my soul be cut at their roots;
Grant me to know that I truly live only when I live to thee,
              that all else is trifling.
Thy presence alone can make me holy, devout, strong and happy.
Abide in me, gracious God.


Bennett, Arthur, editor. The Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions. The Banner of Truth Trust, 1975. 

A Life-Giving Journey

            How do you summarize a life-changing journey? Several of our ladies at Grace, including myself, bravely took this journey this past year. Most of them participated in a Walking Worthy class here at our church building. A couple of us who needed a different time participated in another WW class at Woodland Park, and some of our men participated in a men’s Walking Worthy group. Some of these ladies have contributed their thoughts to this article, and one lady succinctly summarizes, “Walking Worthy has helped me understand my past and how it affects my present so I can have a better future in and with Christ and walk in freedom.” I can’t say it any better than that, but perhaps I can flesh it out for any of you who are potentially interested or don’t even know it is what you need. I would like to do this by telling a bit about my story.

            Through the first half of last year, I became aware that I was not thriving but more surviving life. Some of the weaknesses that I had always coped with seemed to be taking over my life, and I felt like I couldn’t get it together. A large part of these weaknesses were poor ways of coping with grief that had resurfaced and grown stronger as I dealt with my miscarriages. Years ago, I had previously been through a couple of shorter, somewhat similar processes to Walking Worthy, and I had a feeling it might help surface and deal with these issues that I didn’t seem to know how to ‘fix.’ 

            So, I talked to Ben about it and signed up. I walked into a roomful of women I didn’t know except one and knew that we would be sharing our lives and hearts. I saw a variety of emotions on their faces including nervousness and hopefulness. Even though I love getting to know people deeply and long to be real, it is still intimidating, but I relied on my previous experiences to remember that it is well worth it. 

            Sure enough, this group of ladies became a safe haven every week for 26 weeks. When the process was over, we didn’t want it to end, so we have been meeting twice a month (as many as are able). We have a group text in which we send each other our prayer requests and check up on each other. I am blessed to know that I can share anything with this group and to know it will be kept confidential and will be received with love and encouragement, not judgment. 

            So what did we study for 26 weeks, you may wonder? Walking Worthy curriculum covers many of the key difficulties in life, including understanding your family of origin, dealing with trauma, healing and dealing with difficult relationships, shame versus guilt, depression, rejection, communication, forgiveness, addiction, marriage and family relationships, and much more. There is also wonderful information on how the brain works, and most importantly of all, everything is undergirded by Scripture. I love the way one woman describes her journey with WW: 

“Through Walking Worthy I have experienced God giving me the gift of awareness and the ability to name and identify wounds, emotions, areas of my life that I have believed the enemy's lies so long that they became my identity. God is teaching me Who He Is…and who I am in Him and His thoughts towards me - my true identity. I learned how to identify what I was wrestling with…and then know how to bring it into alignment with Truth and to actually resolve and heal some things I have struggled with for years that had me paralyzed, keeping me from moving forward victoriously in Christ. It is a life changing, life giving experience for me.”

Another woman wisely said, “You can’t fix what you don’t know is broken.” In the busyness of life, it is too easy to never evaluate what we are doing and why we do it. Therefore, we continue in the same broken patterns and habits. Walking Worthy helps shine the light of God’s truth on the reality of our past and how it is affecting our present, and then gives us the tools to make new choices, patterns, and habits. As the same woman testifies, “God has used Walking Worthy to make me aware of wounds (encumbrances Heb. 12:1) and sin that Satan had used to blind and defeat me. God has brought spiritual and emotional healing and continued to show Himself in ways I've been unable to see Him before.”

            Is this an easy process? Definitely not. There are issues that arise that are painful and heavy, but oh, it is so worth the momentary struggle through the emotions or memories. The freedom on the other side, the new tools, the deep relationships, the healing, the new depth of your relationship with God, the hope – all of these results are beautiful treasures that are worth going through this journey. 

            Do you come out completely fixed and problem-free? Of course not! We are still sinful humans in a sinful world. However, I love the way another lady describes it, “[Walking Worthy is] a class about heart transformation (processing the past and the present) in order to move forward in our walk with Christ and with others. It helped me identify areas I was stuck and… helped me to better understand other people in my life (who may or may not be stuck too) and how we all affect each other. Finally, I think it helped me grow in my relationship with Jesus, and learn to appropriate His grace…not perfectly of course, but more consistently.”

            I don’t think I can emphasize enough the blessing of knowing the Lord better through WW. Another participant said, “Walking Worthy helped to make things I have known all my life become real to me. Phrases like "God loves you" and "I'm a child of the King" became much more than just words.” Even though I wasn’t raised in a very legalistic church, it amazed me to realize that I still struggle to picture God looking at me with love and grace, but more of an impatient, frustrated parent who wants me to change. Walking Worthy does an excellent job of reminding us who God is, how much He loves us, and who we truly are in Him.

            Even if you don’t consider yourself to have deep wounds, I believe every person can benefit greatly from Walking Worthy. I hope you will consider and ask the Lord if this a journey that He wants to use to bring you more freedom and healing. Feel free to talk to me or anyone else you know who has been on this journey, or check it out at www.walkingworthyjourney.org. The new classes for the fall are not up yet, but keep checking. We are working to offer a couple here at Grace. 

~Judith Graham