Doubting Peter

Poor Thomas. He must have been a perfectly average disciple. He was hardly ever mentioned and never singled out for special notice. He faltered one time, and his name became such a byword for doubt that people who have no idea of the story still use his name, attached to the word, “doubting.”
But he was a far second to Doubting Peter. Peter and Thomas were side-by-side in following Jesus, seeing His claims and his miracles, hearing His teachings and not believing a word of it. In the contest of doubt, Peter “took the cake.”

He had to have everything explained at least twice. In the middle of a storm at sea, he asked Jesus to tell him to get out of the boat, and then he got out. And promptly sank, due to a sudden onset of doubt.  He argued with Jesus all the way through the last few days of Jesus’s life. He didn’t believe Jesus would die, though Jesus told him plainly what would happen. When those events began to unfold, Peter was still not convinced. He didn’t want Jesus to wash his feet. When the soldiers came, as Jesus had said they would, he got out his sword and fought back. Immediately after declaring his unending loyalty, even to death, he cowered at accusations and denied the one he had proclaimed to be The Christ. When the women friends told him of the resurrection --which Jesus had predicted-- he didn’t believe them. Not until Jesus stood before him and scared him out of his wits with the greeting, “Fear not,” did he believe.

The Apostle Peter and Charlie Brown are, perhaps, the two most famous people with whom we most often identify. (Never mind that Charlie Brown is not a real person. To us, he is.) Every time the two of them open their mouths, try to accomplish something, or fall in a heap, we cringe, because we feel. But Peter’s story doesn’t end with his World Championship Doubter trophy.  He met the risen Christ, he understood, and he became one of the boldest men the world has seen. He stood up in Jerusalem, in full view of those religious and government leaders whom he had so feared, and gave one of the most powerful sermons ever heard. Immediately, 3000 people came to the Lord. Peter became a ferocious champion of God, was persecuted for his faith and his words, and eventually was crucified.

If God gave up on people because they doubt, Abraham’s story would have ended with Abraham. God would have known David’s Psalms would be filled with doubt, and would hardly have called David “a man after God’s own heart.” He would not have shown His kind mercy to Thomas, who was adamant in his unbelief. He would have pitched Peter right out of the boat long before he asked to walk on water. And I? Or you? God, have mercy. God has mercy. Let’s take our doubts straight to Him. He alone has the answers.

--Lynda Shenefield

So Little Time, and . . .

I've been working on learning some of Proverbs 6 this month. It's convicting. "Go to the ant, thou sluggard," verse six begins, "consider her ways and be wise." If you've been outside much you know, no one has to tell the ants to work. And they are seemingly tireless! Have you noticed?

This is the time of year when there is so much to do. If you're involved in school--or have a family member who is--there are numerous end-of-the-year events and projects. If you have a garden, you are digging holes and planting seeds and watching for sprouts, all while pulling unwanted vegetation from sidewalks and fence rows and flower beds.

So much to do, and yet the temptation to just sit down and give it a rest is great. I recently heard a radio interview with a marathon runner who said that she regularly wants to quit around mile eighteen. "Why don't I just sell Girl Scout cookies or something [to raise money for a good cause]?" is what she says she asks herself. But then, at the end of the race, she is so glad she did it. She reports that even as her legs are shaking and she "can't remember who [her] relatives are," she is feeling good about the race, about her decision to push herself to achieve.

That's the kind of word I need to hear when I'm tempted to wimp out and just let my students slide through the last two weeks of school, or I want to play another game of Tetris instead of doing that load of laundry I'm going to need in a few days. It's also what I need to remember when it seems easier to watch another Youtube video than spend some time in prayer--mostly because it is easier to watch another Youtube video than to spend time in prayer. But have you ever regretted praying? Have you ever wished you hadn't read so much of the Bible or written a note of encouragement or spoken to your neighbor about your faith?

When Larry and I were dating, we went to hear B.R. Lakin preach. At the end of his sermon, Mr. Lakin would regularly pray this prayer: "Lord, help us to do today what we will wish we had done when we stand before You."

Amen.

--Sherry Poff

Only the Lonely

I had never felt more alone, and the last thing I needed was a teacher yelling in my face. He took me my surprise too. I came to his office on other business, but instead he ambushed me. His twisted, red face eclipsed everything else. He threatened to remove me from the Honor Society due to a drop in grades. This berating took place, not in his office, but in the outer office where people could hear and stare. I had no history of disciplinary problems, and consistently earned good grades. This was out of character for me. This hot-head didn’t try to find out why my grades were slipping, nor did anyone else.

If he had, he would have discovered several things that were happening during my senior year of high school: Doctors diagnosed my father with lung cancer, and the strain of it didn’t help my relationship with my mom or dad. My boyfriend and I struggled through a bad breakup. Late night work led to exhaustion from lack of sleep. My friends had different schedules from mine, so we drifted. I had leaned heavily on my church youth group for emotional support all through middle and high school, but all the leaders I was close to were moving away. Even God seemed far, far away. It was the loneliest time of my life. Before any of this, I already struggled with self-esteem issues. I felt ugly and unpopular. I lacked mature coping skills, and there seemed to be no one to speak truth into my life. I had much to sort out.

Doing it alone – or so it seemed - is probably why this dark road would be a long one. It took about four years for me to come fully into the light again. Here’s how it went:

My father died when I was a freshman in college. In a strange way, this would begin to heal me. Grief taught our family members to express love better. We hugged more and learned to say I love you. My mom and I clung to each other in fear of the unknown. Dad’s ordeal had bonded us.

Still, I carried the boyfriend-breakup alone. My family could have helped me carry that burden if I had shared it with them. Really, I didn’t know how to verbalize my feelings. Much of it wasn’t even about the boyfriend. I felt rejected and unworthy of male attention. But one day, my sadness turned to anger. Tired of feeling depressed, I decided I didn’t need him. I would be myself, and people could accept me or not. It was time to toss self-pity in the corner and gain some self-respect. After that, I reconnected with some friends.

My girlfriends and I didn’t wait around to go on dates. We made our own plans and some good memories too. After a couple of years of girlfriend-therapy, I was ready for true love. God answered my prayers and sent me a perfect match. Dan filled my empty tank with love and acceptance. Having good relationships had certainly helped my loneliness, but I had underestimated the importance of caring for my body and the role that played in my overall wellness.

I didn’t fully embrace healthy living then, but I did begin to exercise and sleep more. To manage my stress, I cut my schedule at school and at work. It took longer for me to graduate college, but these changes helped lift my depression.

One thing remained. My relationship with God would be stale for a long time. Yet, I never lost my spiritual hunger. I had tasted the Lord. I had heard His voice, but He had been quiet. I now realize that even though quiet, He never left me. He still gets the credit for the healing I experienced even though I couldn’t see His hand. He brought my family close during a crisis; He brought friends and a good husband to make life worth living; He helped me sort out immature feelings. But still, I missed hearing Him whisper in my spirit.

One day, a young girl offered me a devotional magazine. I began to read it every day along with the selected Bible passages, and over time, God’s Spirit began to teach me many things about Himself. Gently, He addressed rebellion and disobedience in my life. He uncovered lies I had believed, and His truth brought wholeness. I spoke to Him, and He spoke to me.

Maybe you remember this old hymn?

In The Garden – by Austin Miles

I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses;

And the voice I hear, falling on my ear, the Son of God discloses.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own;

And the joy we share as we tarry there, None other has ever known.

He speaks, and the sound of His voice is so sweet the birds hush their

 singing; And the melody that He gave to me Within my heart is ringing.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own;

And the joy we share as we tarry there, None other has ever known.

joyce hague

More Valuable Broken

I always thought that as I grew in Christ that I would feel stronger, be braver in my faith, and overcome some or most of my struggles. I don’t know about you, but as the years go by, I have often felt weaker. While I do not naturally enjoy feeling weak, I am extremely grateful that God has given us great insight in His Word that He is compassionate and loves weak people.

I Cor 1:27 says, “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.”

Heb 4:15 tells us, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses.”

I Corinthians 12:9-10 says, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Praise God! It sounds like we are more valuable broken! That is a relief and a comfort to me, and I hope it is to you as well. What weakness do you despise in yourself? What do you often feel guilty about? What do you wish you did better or were stronger in? Are there things you are scared to do for God? Offer these weaknesses to God and let Him use you in spite of them. He gets the glory, and we get the joy and peace of knowing that our flaws are not fatal but can be useful! Below is one of my favorite stories that illustrates this.

The Cracked Pot -- a Chinese Fable

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One pot had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream: "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

God knows you inside and out. He knows your struggles and weaknesses. Thankfully, He is big enough to utilize them. Let us offer our imperfect selves to be used for His glory and kingdom. Let us, like Paul, revel in our weaknesses because they highlight God’s strength. Let us stop beating ourselves up for being weak and let God use us to reach other cracked pots!

--Judith Graham