A Story of Two Girls and Two Gifts

Two girls in their early teens sat one afternoon pondering the future. They decided to chart out their guesses as to where they and their friends would be in ten years. Of course, as most girls do, they imagined themselves married with maybe a child or two. Fast-forward ten years, both girls had by this point graduated from college, were established in the workforce, and were still single. The chart they had so carefully thought out, lying among other papers from the past, had not come true. Fast-forward ten more years, and now one of those girls was married and a stay-at-home mom, while the other was a single professional business woman. Life does not always go as we imagine. I know those girls well, because I am one of them.

As I talked to this sweet friend of mine on the phone yesterday, I was reminded of that chart we wrote so long ago. I’m not sure where it ended up; I did keep it for a while. I do know that my life is very different from Janet’s life. I am that stay-at-home mom, while she works in the business world, climbing the ladder in her job and traveling often overseas on business trips. So, what happened to those desires? Did I get the good gift, while she is left waiting for her turn?

Sometimes you hear a message preached that impacts you in such a way that you never forget it.  A sermon on 1 Corinthians 7 that I heard in my single years (while actually visiting my friend Janet) did that for me. In the midst of this chapter, in the context of singleness and marriage, Paul makes this statement, “But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” Don’t miss that. Both singleness and marriage are gifts. Both are given by God.

Singleness is not often thought of as a gift, but the Bible teaches us otherwise. The apostle Paul valued his singleness so much, that he wished everyone were single! We know that God gives good gifts to his children (Matt. 7:11). If, therefore, He doesn’t grant marriage, at all or for a time, that is His good gift.  My dear friend Janet is not missing out on God’s blessing or gift; she has a gift, and currently that is singleness. If God grants marriage in the future, she will move from one gift into the next. Our singles in the church need to hear this. Too often we can make them feel as if they are missing out on what life has to offer, or worse, on God’s best. No, singleness does not seem like a gift for those who are longing to be married, but like so many other things in Scripture, we must align our thinking to God’s.  We can encourage singles by valuing them, including them, and not making marriage seem like the savior of life. Because it isn’t; only Christ is, and He is the One we do not want them to miss out on!

Verse 17 in I Corinthian 7 states, “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.” What I heard from that pastor preaching on I Corinthians 7 that day that revolutionized my approach to my own singleness, was that “whatever gift God has (momentarily) given you (marriage or singleness), maximize it for His kingdom”. There are ways that singles can serve the body of Christ that those of us married cannot. (I Cor. 7: 32-33) My friend Janet counsels women, leads bible studies with younger girls, holds a focused time for prayer weekly at her house, sees her demanding job as an opportunity to speak to others about Christ, and has had some amazing opportunities to do so. I’m not saying that married women cannot do any of these things, but our time is much more limited as we are commanded to serve our husband and children well first. There are also places that singles walk with God in learning to trust Him solely, that married people often do not. More than those of us who are married, they understand that Christ really is all they have. My greatest spiritual growth was during a time of discouragement in my singleness when I fervently sought the Lord. He met me in sweet ways and led me to discover in His Word that my purpose, joy, identity, and contentment were all to be found in Him anyways, and not in a man, and that I wasn’t missing anything, because I had Him. Clinging to God through the challenges and disappointments that come with singleness and using one’s time and energy to serve others are two ways that singles can maximize their gift for the kingdom.

So, to Janet and to all my friends who are single: You are loved by our Heavenly Father. He is not holding out on you. He knows what He’s doing and He has good plans for your life. This season is part of His good plan. It is His gift. We pray with you, if it is your desire, that God would allow marriage in your future, but in the meantime maximize your singleness for His kingdom.  Walk with God, trust Him, and cling to Him. Find where He has gifted you and pour it out in service.  Don’t waste your singleness. Maximize it.

And to myself and my married friends: Encourage singles with these truths. Know that you are not on a ‘deeper plane’ because you are married. Don’t make singles feel like they are missing out or ask when they are finally going to meet someone, as if that is what they’re lacking to ‘truly’ live. Learn from them. Love them. Invite them into your homes, your committees, your ministries. And maximize your marriage for the kingdom, as they maximize their singleness. (And that may be a topic for another day.)

--Amy O'Rear

"It will never look like this again!"

“It will never look like this again!”

            Many years ago dusk was falling  The sun was almost down, and a vivid orange and gold sunset filled the west.  Our family was visiting western states, including the Grand Canyon, White Sands National Monument, Four Corners, the Petrified Forest.  The day had been long and rigorous and the van had gotten very quiet.  I suddenly noticed that Sarah, our younger daughter, still had out her sketchbook and colored pencils.  I suggested that she needed to put them away; the light was almost gone.  Her reply rebuked me.  “But, Mama, the sky will never look like this again.”  I agreed she could continue, then looked to see what she was drawing.  The black outline of a butte, there in the desert, was silhouetted against a vibrant red orange at the horizon, fading up to peach, yellow, and gold.  Indeed, we would never see that sight again.

            I was reminded of that conversation this week by another conversation.  This time an adult was speaking.  “I asked my husband what was so special about that tree reflected in the water.  It was just like the one we had just seen reflected in the water, except maybe there was the addition of a rock.”

            I admit that I was puzzled by those statements.  I never want to live in a world that has lost its wonder.  I never want to lose an awe at the infinite variety of colors and shapes and patterns.

            Again, many years ago, I talked with a photographer who had been saved late in life.  He said, “I thought I was aware of beauty, but something happened when I got saved.  Now I was overwhelmed by beauty.”

            He showed me the song, “I am His and He is mine.”  The second verse says,

            Heav’n above is softer blue, Earth around is sweeter green;

            Something lives in ev’ry hue Christless eyes have never seen!

            Birds with gladder songs o’erflow,       

 Flow’rs with deeper beauties shine,

 Since I know, as now I know, I am His and He is mine.

So what should the beauty of nature say to us?  May I take the words of another song?  “Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee; How great Thou art, how great Thou art!”  May we see the sky that will never look like this again.  May we see the reflection of the tree in the water.  May we see how great our God is!

                                                            ~~Faith Himes Lamb

            

The Metronome

met-ro-nome.  noun.  A mechanical or electrical instrument that makes repeated clicking sounds at an adjustable pace, used for marking rhythm, especially in practicing music.

Years ago, the well-dressed piano featured a metronome. To a small child taking piano lessons, the metronome was an imposing edifice with beautiful woodgrain finish and a brass pendulum. The loud tick-tock, which was meant to guide us to perfect timing, was often an intimidating distraction. But it didn’t intimidate unless it was turned on.

Now we can purchase a tiny electronic metronome or app which will thump, peep or flash with a variety of sounds and blinks. Regardless of the type, a metronome is meant to supply a steady beat to help the musician learn to keep his own internal steady beat.  The music composer dictates the tempo, the metronome demonstrates the tempo, and the musician submits to the tempo.

Awhile back (still within my lifetime), Bibles were large and intimidating. To a small child, the language, outdated by more than 200 years, was distracting. Now we can purchase Bibles in any size, any version of English or any other language, with themes, reading plans, and study guides. Regardless of the type, the Bible is meant to serve as a guide to God and His gift of Life. It is meant to show us how to hear God, how to respond to Him, how to live for Him. But whatever kind we have, we need to use it. Don’t just brag on your chosen “version”; read it. Believe it. Follow it. Try to set the tempo of your life by it. Fail. Repeat.

God is not hiding from us or keeping secrets from us. He wants us to hear Him, to know His gifts to us, to follow His steady, consistent, unfailing direction.

Good and upright is the Lord;

Therefore He instructs sinners in the way.

He leads the humble in justice,

And he teaches the humble His way.

All the paths of the LORD are lovingkindness and truth

To those who keep His covenants and His testimonies.

For Your name’s sake, O LORD,

Pardon my iniquity, for it is great.

Who is the man who fears the LORD?

He will instruct him in the way he should choose.

His soul will abide in prosperity,

And his descendants will inherit the land.

The secret of the LORD is for those who fear Him,

And He will make them know His covenant.  Ps. 25:8-14  NASB

A few years ago, I had been trying to learn a piece of music, and was struggling to play consistently. When I finally got out the metronome, I was dismayed to find how far “off” I was from the goal. I mentioned that to a friend who is an accomplished musician, and he made this observation,

The world operates largely on the basis of “cause and effect” with one thing happening as the result of another. When it comes to music, the steady beat absolutely MUST be the cause – the “leader” and the player’s hands or voice or feet or whatever must be the effect, or the “follower.” If the “master” has dictated that it be done, then so shall it be done! We will practice and practice until it CAN be done according to the master’s will.

Although it may be uncomfortable to practice with a metronome now, that discomfort is pointing out to you how far off you are from where you should be. If you were keeping a steady tempo, you would feel no discomfort at all. That metronome would be clicking right along with you and you would feel affirmed, rather than frustrated. The more you work with the metronome, the better trained your own internal metronome will be.

Suppose we thought about the Bible the same way. Suppose we actually believed we need to follow God’s Word exactly, consistently, continually, the same way we do a simple mechanical tool. If we “practiced,” we would feel affirmed, rather than frustrated in our Christian life. The Bible is our metronome -- God expresses His will, the Bible explains His will, we submit to His will.

Is your metronome turned on?

 --Lynda Shenefield

Tradition!

Remember that great song from Fiddler on the Roof? "Who, day and night, must scramble for a living, feed a wife and children, say his daily prayers? And who has the right, as master of his house, to have the final word at home?  The papa! Tradition!"

There is something to be said for tradition--something more than this song implies. Jesus did, it's true, chastise his countrymen for putting their faith in tradition instead of in the true spirit of God's law. But he also honored traditions. When he celebrated the Passover with his disciples, he extended the meaning of that tradition to include believers in all centuries since. "'Do this,'" he said, "'in remembrance of me'" (I Corinthians 11:24).

Repeated acts help us recall important truths. Symbols surrounding a holiday remind us of the deeper meaning of the day, and songs are a powerful tool to call up past experiences. On Easter Sunday, when we sang "Nothing But the Blood" and "At the Cross," I was a little girl again, standing by my mother's side, learning the truths of Scripture--learning what it is we celebrate at Easter.

Even the egg hunts, the frilly dresses, and the traditional dinner recall to my mind the wonder of the Resurrection and the amazing truth that makes our life different from all the religions of the world.

So I'm all about tradition.  It is tradition that reminds us of what we need to know, it is tradition that brings the family around the table to share a meal, and it was tradition that pulled me into a church vestibule one Sunday morning in the mid-seventies to encounter myself and admit my sin.

I'm ever so thankful I grew up in a home where certain things were expected--traditional, even. I hope I never get over it.

--Sherry Poff