Reputation Matters

 

Proverbs 18:17, “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.”

Proverbs 22:1, “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.”

Have you ever known a Biblical principle your whole life, and then one day you get a real-life lesson in it? That happened to me recently when a situation arose between two people I have known for almost 40 years.

We will call them Hazel and Myrtle for anonymity's sake. Myrtle came to me with a complaint about how Hazel had treated her. I believed it straight away, because Hazel had a reputation for being a bully, being arrogant, always thinking she was right about everything, and throwing fits to get her way. I could make a list of all the times I had seen her bully others. I was angry about this incident for days, because I deeply care for Myrtle, whom I viewed as somewhat defenseless.

I began to grapple with what my own response to this incident should be. But the Holy Spirit encouraged me to hold my tongue, to mind my business, and to wait and see what would happen next. Several Scriptures came to mind on these topics. I wrote pages and pages in my journal trying to sort out what my response should be. I wanted it to be godly and wise and not reactionary. I prayed over the situation many times. The ruminative thoughts were taking up too much space in my head, so I had to mute Hazel on social media limiting my thinking about her and the incident. The topic was hot in my mind still, so I was tempted to talk with others about it, but by the strength of the Lord alone, I didn’t (except closest family).

Then one day, 3 months after the incident, Hazel came to me with her side of the story. I knew she would eventually come, but she came much differently than I expected. I braced myself and whispered a silent prayer hoping for a godly response. I had never seen her like this. She was almost in tears, humble and contrite even. The arrogance absent. Normally she would brag about how she had gotten the best of somebody, but not this time. She said it had taken her this long to talk about it, because she had been so hurt. Myrtle had gone-off on her in a way she had never seen. It was a much bigger story than I had known. (Eventually, Myrtle apologized to Hazel for her bad behavior and  explained the circumstances leading up to the outburst.) Myrtle had not told me the whole story.

I was stunned at Hazel and Myrtle’s uncharacteristic behaviors, and I was forced to try to decide who to believe. Although Hazel had a reputation of behaving badly, I had never known her to lie. Myrtle had a reputation of being kind and patient with others and also for being truthful. Each was speaking from her own perspective and thankfully had made peace between themselves without my interference. I was thankful the Holy Spirit had reminded me of the verses above and kept me quiet, because it could have gotten even uglier had I intervened.

I was reminded of some things:

Reputation really does matter. What will people believe if someone tells them something negative about you? (I have had this happen to me.) People who have known you, especially a long time, will notice patterns of behavior. Will they trust your word, because they have never known you to lie? I couldn’t believe Myrtle would act that way, but Hazel was not known as a liar. But neither was Myrtle. That’s how I came to understand that they were both telling the truth as they saw it. Later, Myrtle admitted to me that she had apologized for her bad behavior, so it confirmed that Hazel was still being truthful.

It’s good to wait and let the whole truth come out before deciding what is true. This is especially true with social media. Some people make money out of others’ outrage. Outrage causes people to react on their pages where the money is made. So, they will slant the truth to deceive or to rage bait. Have you ever fallen for that? I have. As in Paul Harvey’s “Rest of the Story,” there is always another side to consider if we want to be critical thinkers instead of jumping at the first idea thrown to us.

It’s good to mind one’s own business and stay out of strife. (I Thessalonians 4:11, “…and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs…”) I don’t want to be known as a “pot stirrer.” Do you? I want to be a peacemaker. This is pleasing to the Lord. He wants us to get along. Sometimes it ain’t easy, and I’m glad I had lots of time to sort through my thoughts. I don’t always have that luxury, but hopefully, I have learned through these experiences. I bet you have stories of your own and can relate.

Blessings and peace,

joyce hague

A Crown of Beauty

Do you have a favorite ring or necklace that you like to wear, or perhaps a cute pair of earrings? If you see me at any given point in time, I will be wearing my engagement and wedding rings and probably also another ring on my right hand that my husband gave me when we were dating. As a teenager I had no desire to get my ears pierced, but in college, on somewhat of a whim while out with my friends, I went for it. So now, I often don a pair of earrings. On occasion, I also put on a necklace or bracelet. Many of us have an assortment of jewelry, even if it’s small. However, regardless of whether you own necklaces, rings, or bracelets, there is an accessory mentioned repeatedly in Proverbs that is vital for all of us women.

The book of Proverbs celebrates the beauty, not of jewelry and precious stones, but of wisdom. Read these verses and notice how it speaks of wisdom:

-- Wise instruction and teaching are “a graceful wreath for your head and necklaces for your neck” (1:9, NASB).

-- Wisdom and discretion are “adornment to your neck” (3:22).

-- In response to wise teaching, “bind them on your fingers” (7:3).

             In other words, a far better accessory than a gold necklace or a new pair of earrings is wisdom. Wisdom makes beautiful; it adorns its wearer with a quality that comes from the Lord Himself (Proverbs 8:22). I am sure we have all met these women... Whether or not they wear any jewelry at all, they exude wisdom. We are drawn to them and want to learn from them.

             And what about physical beauty? Proverbs speaks to that, too. Listen to this shocking verse: “As a ring of gold in a pig’s snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion” (11:22). Wow! We can put on our best outfit and adorn it with beautiful jewelry, but if we lack wisdom, we will just look like a dirty pig wearing a nose ring! This doesn’t mean that we should get rid of all of our accessories of silver, gold, and precious stones. It does mean, however, that we need to be aware that those things don’t truly make us beautiful. Maybe somewhere along the way, we have been tempted to listen to the world’s definition of beauty and need to be reminded of what God calls beautiful. As we pour into the next generation who are being bombarded with false messages of beauty, let’s be sure to teach them what beauty according to God’s word really is.

            I love Proverbs 4:9, “She [wisdom] will place on your head a garland of grace; she will present you with a crown of beauty.” Ladies, may that be the beauty we chase after.

-- Amy O’Rear

Mission-Minded

 

I’ve been delighted recently to see the little stack of missionary prayer letters on the table as I come into church. We used to have a Women’s Missionary Fellowship at Grace. The group met monthly to hear about missions, pray for specific needs, and have a little refreshment. From time to time, we also took on projects to meets needs we read or heard about. I have forgotten—if I ever knew-- why we stopped this practice, but I loved it.

Some time after the group dissolved, I realized I needed a specific time to pray for missions, so I adopted Wednesday as my missionary prayer time. I have a folder with prayer cards and letters to help me focus on individuals and the various fields represented. This is why I am especially happy to see the prayer letters.

It is a great privilege to have a part in mission work around the world through the medium of prayer. When I read Melissa Baccarella’s occasional Sunday morning emails and then pray for her neighbor or for an upcoming community outreach, I am eager to read her next email to see how things are going. Then I am able to praise God for the things He’s doing in Italy. It’s the same with the Lethers family in Togo, the Freeze family in Cambodia, the Arces in Venezuela, and on around the world. With all the things going on here in the United States, it’s easy to forget that there is a big world out there where God is at work. It’s good for us to focus away from ourselves now and then and think about the needs of others. We both get a perspective on our own blessings and develop compassion for people in other lands.

But let’s not leave the evangelism to career missionaries. I think it’s appropriate for each of us to see ourselves as missionaries to the people we interact with daily. Maybe you’re a member of a book club or a gym. Perhaps there are people you see regularly when you go running or stop in for lunch at a favorite restaurant. These are opportunities to spread the gospel through conversation and actions.

Jesus left his disciples with instructions to be his witnesses “in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth” (Acts 1:8). That was in the city where they were living, in their region, in a neighboring region, and then all around the world. As followers of Jesus and spiritual descendants of those early disciples, we have a similar calling.

I heard recently of a man who said that knowing he was dying “removed the filter” from his mouth and made him bold to witness. That challenged me to think about how I might lovingly introduce more of the gospel into my daily conversations.

When we all get to heaven some day, one thing I hope to do is talk with believers from around the world and hear their stories of how they came to know Jesus. And we can have a little of that right here on earth.

Please join me in reading the missionary letters and praying regularly for their work. And I’d love it if you want to ask me now and then who I’ve been witnessing to.  

--Sherry Poff